Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl Lyrics by Tisdale, Dan Mintz, & Bob's Burgers

(Tisdale, Dan Mintz, & Bob's Burgers)

[Gene:]
So I dunno if we can pull this off. I mean, we wrote and rehearsed it in under twenty minutes, but, if we do, it's because we did it together. All of us.
[Zeke:]
That's exactly what people say before they make a baby I think!
[Gene:]
Okay, well, without any further ado, we present to you the musical rom-com slash action thriller, Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl!

[Courtney:]
Oh, no! We're a bunch of secretaries from New York held hostage in Nakatomi Towers!
[Louise:]
Shush! I'm Karl, da one with beautiful hair!
[Gene:]
I'm Hans Gruber! Consider yourself grubed!
[Courtney:]
Tess McGill can't let a bunch of terrorists ruin her dream!
[Jocelyn:]
I hope the police come soon!
[Zeke:]
Ouch! Glass hurt John McClane's feet!

[Andy:]
I'm Agent Johnson
[Ollie:]
And I'm Agent Johnson
[Both:]
And we're from the FBI
[Andy:]
I'm Johnson
[Ollie:]
He's Johnson!
[Andy:]
He's Johnson
[Ollie:]
I'm Johnson!
[Both:]
Two fancy-footed federal guys
[Regular Sized Rudy:]
I might just be a local cop, but will you guys back off me?
[Jocelyn:]
Things are getting pretty tense, does anybody want coffee?

[Courtney:]
You know, we're not so different, you and I.
We're both ambitious, Hans!
[Gene:]
Tess McGill, you've stolen this Gruber's heart.
[Courtney and Gene:]
Like he's/I'm stealing these bearer bonds.

(Darryl): I cracked the cooooooooooooode!
So here's the bearer bonds, which is the same as money I guess.
[Gene:]
Hey, let's make that radio deal! Hip hop?
[Courtney:]
Hip hop!

(Hip hop music plays)

[Gene:]
Mmwah!
[Courtney:]
(whispering) That's not in the script!
[Gene:]
(whispering) Just go with it! They love it!
[Courtney:]
(unknown sound)
[Gene:]
(whispering) Is that two rows of teeth I'm feeling?
[Courtney:]
(whispering) My baby teeth never fell out.
[Tina:]
And Jack Trainer and I are a couple now as well, so that's good.
[Jimmy Jr.:]
Hip hop! Hip hop!
[Zeke:]
Hans, you're feeling love's great power
But now I gotta push you off the tower!
Come here! I'm gon' gitcha! Come on!
[Gene:]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Louise:]
I'm so mad about my brother so I kill you about it!
[Regular Sized Rudy:]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[Louise:]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
[Zeke:]
Thanks, Al!

[Courtney:]
If only there was a place where we could all be happy and not get killed.
[Cast:]
Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with bearer bonds and love, where dreams don't die hard
Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with shoulder pads and love
Where dreams can fly hard
[Courtney and Gene:]
But until we can live in that imaginary world
We'll work hard or die trying, girl.

(Applause)
[Linda:]
Yes! Yes! Woo!
[Bob:]
Oh my god! Carly Simon?
["Not" Carly Simon:]
Who?
[Bob:]
Oh, sorry. (stammers) You look like Carly Simon.
["Not" Carly Simon:]
You look like Carly Simon.
[Bob:]
It's a compliment.
["Not" Carly Simon:]
Back off!
[Bob:]
Sorry. Jeez.
[Gene:]
I smell a Tony! Which is also what happens to be what I call my farts.

[Cast:]
Work hard!
Or die trying, girl!
[Carly Simon:]
Ooooh....
[Carly Simon and cast:]
You work hard you die hard!
[Cast:]
Work hard!
[Gene:]
Work hard!
[Carly Simon:]
Ohhhhhhh...
[Cast:]
Or die trying, girl!
[Carly Simon and Zeke:]
You work hard you try hard!
[Cast:]
Work hard! [(Carly Simon:]
Ooooooooooooh...))
[Cast:]
Or die trying, girl!
[Gene:]
Yeah!
[Carly Simon and cast:]
You work hard you die hard!
[Cast:]
Work hard!
[Carly Simon:]
No, no, no, no, no, work haaaaaaaaaaaard
[Cast:]
(Or die trying, girl!)