Ai TuneStar - Tent in My Lap Lyrics

I was lookin' for aspirin in my dad's drawer
Had a massive headache, couldn't take no more
Saw a little blue pill, thought, That'll do
Popped it quick, not thinkin' it through

Suddenly my britches felt mighty tight
Like a tent pole pushin' with all its might
Thought I'd grown a third leg, no exaggeration
This ain't your everyday kinda situation

I've got a raging boner that just won't quit
It's been hours, man, I can't even take a shit
Tried cold showers, even gave it a slap
But this damn thing is hard like a baseball bat

I walked into the bank to cash my pay
But the guard saw my bulge and yelled, stop right there
He reached for his gun, thinkin' I was a threat
I put my hands up and said, "It's just my boner, don't you sweat"

I've got a raging boner that just won't quit
It's been hours, man, I can't even take a shit
Thought about grandma, even prayed to the Lord
But this damn thing is stiffer than a two-by-four

I tried strokin' it, but it's still hard as a rock
I humped my couch, but it's still hard as a rock
I hit it with a hammer, but it's still hard as a rock
What the hell am I gonna do with this goddamn cock

I've got a raging boner that just won't quit
It's been hours, man, I can't even take a shit
Called my doctor, he said, Good luck with that
I'm stuck in here with a tent in my lap