anne christine - NUMBER Lyrics

I'm sorry that I deleted your number
I felt smothered just seeing your name
My arms were not long enough
To push you away
The pain was too big
To hold at arm's length
I wanted to travel
Leave the country
I couldn't give what you wanted to take
Wish that I didn't need all this distance
Need to forget your name to feel safe
I didn't go unaffected
I just process different
I'm sorry for all my deflection
I've been fighting my own demons
I told you I loved you
And then I tried to
Shouldn't have taken back what I said
I can only deceive when I'm also lied to
Shouldn't have followed that voice in my head
It said that I should try to please you
Even if at my own expense
I wasn't thinking I could lead you on
But I see it
Now that you're gone