Nonsense N Meaning Video (MV)

I wouldn't want anybody to feel like how I feel sometimes
R.I.P. Robin Williams, he could tell you why
It's all fun and games with me until I'm all alone and the demons are roaming free
Let me tell you their names. I call them the past, trauma, and mistakes

Awkward situations and selfless reflection allow me to see that the world I built for myself is just a force for me to feel better
But a quick deep glance will show the fractures in this picture
A trick yah is what keeps popping up in my mental vision
Been through a lot, but haven't we all? Some give up standing after they fall

Me, I find my peace in music, keeping destructive thoughts at bay by letting sounds go through me
Binaural beats, 528 hertz frequencies, 8 hour long melodies, compilations of sad songs, rain and thunderstorms, sparking my creativity to grow and bloom
Call it a coping mechanism, but I thank God it's creative and I hope you can listen as I bleed through my existential prison
The pains, the joys, I'm painting it vivid

It's the connections with others I'm trying to link
It's the connections, it's the connections with self I'm needing

Kicking and screaming, feeding the leaching
Lying and cheating, Nonsense N meaning

Playing defeated, night's a minigame
Kicking and screaming, feeding the need change
Lying and cheating, Nonsense N meaning
Playing the feeling, nonsense n meaning

Restless, paying the price for wanting to be famous
Thirteen hour shifts for the few bucks I spent
Paying off debts and studio equipment
Burying myself in blankets and pillows

Meditating to ease the crippling anxieties of living free
With no set goals in mind except for a vague finish line
When I cross it, I will know I made it
But made what? My dreams into reality

But now I reflect, what was my parents' intent for me when they conceived me
And how deep does it influence me
Am I a product of their deep subconscious desires
I like to think I'm not

But as I go deeper, I believe I can see clearer
Pops was a stable man with big dreams, steady to achieve them
Whilst leaving the practicalities of everyday life for mom to deal with
Moms was a proud, somewhat insecure woman, following dad wherever he went

And taking care of his ass, never taking no shit from nobody but him
I can tell how I've been treating women is very similar
Damn, I catch myself looking like a bootleg version of my dad
Only thing keeping me standing is the dream of someday surpassing

Not the man, but the ideologies that are limiting my greatest potential
Hence the reason I try to go against everything he wanted
Prostitution, drug abuse, except for murder, name it, I've done it all
I come from a stable house with all the stable foundations destroyed

Coming up the son of a preaching man, taking me detours to piece my life together
And actually become a man
At least I still am, failing, dusting it off, and trying again
Coming up the son of a preaching man, taking me detours to piece my life together

And actually become a man
At least I still am, failing, dusting it off, and trying again
And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again
And again

And again, and again, and again, and again, and again