There is something in me
That so desperately wants to give up
There is something else in my chest
That just won't let me
At the bottom of everything
I've spent so long trying to climb out
But it just isn't working
So here's where I'll stay
And here is where I'll sleep
But instead of dreaming
I'll think of something a little more practical
I've been pushing this boulder for quite awhile now
But it always rolls back down
Everything's the same but awful now
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I'm not proud of it
This is hard to deal with
I've learned you make the best choices you can in the moment
And you learn not to hate yourself for it
Somewhere along the way
I want to crawl out of my skin
Forget all of it and start again
This is hard to deal with
This is hard to deal with