BOM says Cat Five
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Wall Street says crash tomorrow
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Climate says we're all dead by 2030
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Crystal Ball says... HAHAHA!
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BOM on the telly, big red map on the screens
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Cat Five monster coming - panic, stock the beans!
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(Baked Beans are best!)
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Next day it's Cat Four, then Cat Three by tea
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Web's back still broken - can't even see
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(Taxpayer's money!)
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Fifty percent chance of rain
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Might as well flip three coins
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Or go outside and look
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Save the taxpayer's loins
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They hype the storm, then walk it back slow
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"Forecast uncertainty"
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That's their 'Get-out-of-Jail' Show
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Crystal Ball spinning, mystic woo in the air
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BOM's got the numbers - but they just don't care!
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Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
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BOM's hype machine - what a load of news!
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Cat Five today, Cat Three tomorrow
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Whipsite still crashes
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Welcome to the sorrow! (HA HA HA)
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Crystal Ball Blues
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Forecasting's black magic
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We'll all lose! (Woo Hoo)
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(We all loo, we all loo)
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(We all loo, we all loo, we all loo)
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We'll all still lose!
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Financial forecasts
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"crash next Tuesday, sell it all!"
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Stock pundits screaming
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Then the market doesn't fall. (HA HA HA)
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Doom and gloom merchants, every channel, every day
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"Recession coming!"
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Yeah, they've been saying that since May. (ha ha ha)
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Crop failure prophets, "famine by next year,"
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Everyone's gonna die - pass the fear. (HA ha HA)
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War forecasters, "WWIII in '27"
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Environmental doomsayers, "boil or drown 'by heaven'"
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(Oh My GOD!)
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Crystal Ball spinning, mystic woo in the air
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Pundits got the numbers - but they just don't care!
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Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
Forecasting's a racket - what a load of mews!
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Crash next week, famine by spring
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War by Christmas
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Hear the doomsday ring! (Ding Ding)
+
Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
Guessing with 'craps' - we're ALL gonna lose!
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Population forecasts - "eight billion, then collapse"
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"Too many people"
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Same old fear relapse
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(Let's get rid of YOU First then, that should help)
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Election pundits, "landslide by a mile"
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Then the vote comes in - surprise; denial. (ha ha ha)
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They all read the tea leaves, run the same old code
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Adjust the models when the numbers don't bode
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(fudge factors engaged! HA HA HA)
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But it's all just gambling with a fancy name
+
May as well pick a winner at the local track game
+
(winna, winna, chicken dinna)
+
Crystal Ball spinning, mystic woo in the air
+
BOM's got the numbers - but they just don't care!
+
Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
BOM's hype machine - what a load of 'PewPews'!
+
Cat Five today, Cat Three tomorrow
+
Whitsite STILL crashes - welcome to the morrow!
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%#$@&! Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
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Forecasting's black magic - we all STILL lose!
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We ALL LOSE! (We ALL LOSE!)
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We ALL LOSE! (We ALL LOSE!)
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We ALL LOSE! (We ALL LOSE!)
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We ALL STILL LOSE!
+
They call it science, but it's mystic woo in disguise
+
Throw some data at a model, watch the panic rise
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(Oooh, I'm scared...)
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BOM can't tell tomorrow's rain from shine
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(Look out your window)
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(If your face gets wet, it's raining)
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Yet they sell us the End Times
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BE QUICK! Stock crashes, crop failures, wars tomorrow
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Population dooms (Doom SELLS)
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All the same Crystal Balls - same old glooms
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(fixate much?)
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Guessing is the industry, fear is the pay
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(what a pay day!)
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And we keep buying tickets - every single day
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(Well, NOT ME!!!)
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Crystal Balls spinning, mystic woo in the air!
+
BOM's got the numbers, but they just don't care!
+
Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
BOM's hype machine - what a load of news!
+
Cat Five today, Cat Three tomorrow
+
Website still crashes
+
Welcome to the morrow! (HA HA)
+
Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
Forecasting's black magic
+
We'll all lose! (Woo Hoo)
+
(We all loo, we all loo)
+
(We all loo, we all loo, we all loose)
+
We'll all still lose!
+
We'll all still lose!
+
We'll all still lose!
+
We'll all still lose!
+
Crystal Balls spinning, mystic woos everywhere!
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Wave your arms in the air, like you just don't care!
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Crystal Ball Blues, Crystal Ball Blues
+
(take off your shoes)
+
Forecasting's a racket - what a load of news!
+
(win or lose)
+
Cat Five today, crash next week (ha ha ha)
+
Famine by spring - hear the doomsday speak!
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(sneak, sneak)
+
Crystal Ball Blues
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Waddya got to lose?
+
Guessing with graphs? - (we all lose!)
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(Truth Blues)
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(We ALL LOSE!)
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We ALL LOSE!
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(We ALL LOSE!)
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We ALL LOSE!
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We ALL STILL
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We ALL LOSE!
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Trust the forecasts... (Sure... (NOT))
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Trust the models... (Why?... (not?))
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Trust the crystal's hairy balls
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(disgusting, but funny!)
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
+
(AHAHAHA...)
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Goosa!
+
Goosa!
+
