NATO... Schmayto
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Training for a war that's not this war
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Listen up
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The British Army finally finds the trench
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Well done lads - but a bit late, don't you think?
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We've been in the mud for years unseen
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While you rediscover what we've been
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I watched a Ukrainian trainer, fresh from the Rifles
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Teaching NATO tactics with all his smiles
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Good job he did what he was taught to do
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But all I thought: "How's this relevant to our crew?'
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"Responding right ain't picking from a book'
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"When you lack the air, the fire, the superior look'
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"No three-to-one, no comms that sing'
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"No armour dominance - just the sting'
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Terrain defines the fight
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Weapons set the stage
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NATO playbook bright
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But this is trench RAGE
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OH Schmayto - what the f*ck?
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Training for COIN, out of luck!
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Fire and movement - pretty sham!
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When the field is mined and artilleries slam!
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NATO Schmayto - thanks a lot!
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Teaching rally driving - give us a scooter shot!
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NATO Schmayto - peer-on-peer!
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Your archaic tactics DIE HERE!
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Crossing a road the NATO way
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Pause, kneel, cover, slow as day
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Four men down, the rest pass through
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Good against a sniper or two
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But here it gives the enemy time
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To bring the cannons, grenades, the mine
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Auto-cannons, AGLs, tanks so grand
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Artillery presighted across the land
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Clusters, FPV, jets overhead
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No reply from us, just US DEAD
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Slow and steady loses the race
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When heavy fire turns the field to waste
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You train for insurgency light
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We fight a peer with all their might
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No air, no armor, no three-to-one
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Your archaic doctrine's done
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NATO Schmayto - what the f*ck?
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Training for COIN, out of luck!
+
Fire and movement - pretty sham!
+
When the field is mined and artilleries slam!
+
NATO Schmayto - thanks a lot!
+
Teaching rally driving - give us a scooter shot!
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NATO Schmayto - peer-on-peer!
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Your archaic tactics DIE HERE!
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Back in '22 the memes were gold
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Ukrainian tankers with kills untold
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Trained by Yanks whose last tank fight
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Gulf War, forty-four years out of sight
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Thanks Uncle Sam, for the wisdom grand
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Teaching Veterans here how to take a stand
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Being British infantry or Ranger elite
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Doesn't make you shell-proof on your feet
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Artillery don't care 'bout your badge or name
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SAS or conscript - it ends the same
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You train for insurgency light
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We fight a peer with all their might
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No air, no armor, no three-to-one
+
Your archaic doctrine's done
+
NATO Schmayto - what the f*ck?
+
Training for COIN, out of luck!
+
Fire and movement - pretty sham!
+
When the field is mined and artilleries slam!
+
NATO Schmayto - thanks a lot!
+
Teaching rally driving - give us a scooter shot!
+
NATO Schmayto - peer-on-peer!
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Your archaic tactics DIE HERE!
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The quiet ones learn, adapt, survive
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The loud NATO pro's - barely alive
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Teaching playbooks from a different war
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While we dig deeper than ever before
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No superhero cape from training past
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When the peer enemy fires the blast
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Your tactics pretty on paper clean
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But here they're just a death machine
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(a dust gets 'meh')
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(a 'duss' gets 'miss')
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(a dust gets 'meh')
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(a 'duss' gets 'miss')
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Irrelevant... shit!
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Minefield... cares not
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For your... grit!
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Artillery... laugh
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At your... sham!
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Tanks... don't care
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WHO... YOU... AM!
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NATO SCHMAYTO - THANKS FOR THE HELP!
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NATO SCHMAYTO - DIG YOUR OWN TRENCH!
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NATO SCHMAYTO - PEER-ON-PEER WAR!
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NATO SCHMAYTO - WHAT'S IT FOR?!
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So here we are, in the mud and fire
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Learning the hard way, raising the pyre
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Your training's late, your doctrine's old
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We fight the war that's bitter and cold
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No air superiority, no massive might
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Just trenches, drones, and endless night
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The quiet adapt, the loud ones break
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NATO Schmayto - for f*ck's sake
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(a distance gets to me)
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(a dust gets 'meh')
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(a 'duss' gets back at me)
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(a dust gets meh)
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(a 'duss' gets me)
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NATO Schmayto - what the f*ck?
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Training for COIN, went out of luck!
+
Fire and movement - pretty sham!
+
When the field is mined and artilleries slam!
+
NATO Schmayto - thanks a lot!
+
Teaching rally driving - give us a scooter shot!
+
NATO Schmayto - peer-on-peer!
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Your archaic tactics DIE HERE!
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NATO Schmayto - (weis of) [late to] the stench!
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NATO Schmayto - dig your own trench!
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NATO Schmayto - artillery don't care!
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NATO Schmayto - we're already there!
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('nato book' schmayto)
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(and 'books' means us)
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('nato book' schmayto)
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('à tous' mights us, kay?)
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The artillery doesn't care
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Who trained you where
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NATO Schmayto
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NATO Schmayto
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NATO Schmayto
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('à plus' means us)
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