Three visits after it becomes mine
I drive away from your house for the last time
Hyperventilating quietly in the back seat
While my eyeliner streaks
I took a sweater and a couple of shelves
And the knowledge I will never fully understand myself
A fall sun sets on the property
I scour your journals for your thoughts about me
Flipping quickly through handwritten poems and old photos
My desperation shows
I hoard burned CDs and brand new unknowns
And quiet thoughts that I will never really truly have a home
And I
I
I will never fully understand