Melissa Etheridge - I'm Not Broken: Live From Topeka Correctional Facility Album Lyrics

She wakes up in the morning
With a pain in her jet black head
A decaf coffee in her hand
And a Marlboro Red
She drives down to the office in her Japanese car
With the radio blasting
She dreams of takin' it too far
Today she'll pay the bills
She won't think about the thrills
That pass away

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she will live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

Her eyes are black as leather
And her hair is killer red
How could she keep the baby
She can barely keep her head
No, she don't owe nobody nothing
And she ain't on the street
But these drinks are getting heavy
Lord, and these tips are getting weak
And she don't understand
Why she can't climb out of the sand
And break away

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she'll live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

Her lover never came home
Now it's half past three
Today her best friend told her he's HIV
Something's gotta give somewhere
Forcing circles into squares
She keeps pushing on

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she will live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

She's all American
Hey, come on, come on

Well, hello

She wakes up in the morning
With a pain in her jet black head
A decaf coffee in her hand
And a Marlboro Red
She drives down to the office in her Japanese car
With the radio blasting
She dreams of takin' it too far
Today she'll pay the bills
She won't think about the thrills
That pass away

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she will live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

Her eyes are black as leather
And her hair is killer red
How could she keep the baby
She can barely keep her head
No, she don't owe nobody nothing
And she ain't on the street
But these drinks are getting heavy
Lord, and these tips are getting weak
And she don't understand
Why she can't climb out of the sand
And break away

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she'll live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

Her lover never came home
Now it's half past three
Today her best friend told her he's HIV
Something's gotta give somewhere
Forcing circles into squares
She keeps pushing on

She's an all American girl
An all American girl
And she will live and die in this man's world
An all American girl

She's all American
Hey, come on, come on

Well, hello

Awe, I-I'm so, so happy to be here
I-i really am, awe, thank you

Now I-I don't assume that you all know who I am, okay?
I know some do, that's good
But some are like, "Nah, I was doin' something else at the time" or something, y'know?

It's so, for you, I just want you to enjoy the music
I'm gonna, uh, I put a special set list together for you
Y'know we'll do a couple of hits but, uh
I wanted to play some songs that-, that mean a lot to me
And I thought they might me a lot to you, because y'know

But let me give you a little bit of background, actually
Like the Mayor said, the Mayor, I grew up in Leavenworth, Kansas
Oh yeah, born and raised in Leavenworth
And I understand Kansas, Kansas has always been in my heart
Y'know, I've lived in California for a while but-, California
But Kasnas is, is, is really right here, so

When I was young, y'know, in Leavenworth, we have a lot of prisons in Leavenworth
And when I was very young, I was about, uh, eleven or twelve
I was in a variety show that use to go around and perform in the prisons
And of course we had like four men's prisons, and at the time the Kansas State
Women's penitentiary was part of the men's penitentiary
And it was in Lansing,
And I remember singing there and I-I felt-
I felt very close the time that I sang to those women
They were very, very appreicative
And, um, since then, ever since my dream has come true
And I was able to, y'know, do what I wanted
I have always planned to come back and do a show for you all
For the inmates at the women's penitentiary

So, man, just, just enjoy this evening
Tonight you are just-, you are just women loving music okay?

Awe, I-I'm so, so happy to be here
I-i really am, awe, thank you

Now I-I don't assume that you all know who I am, okay?
I know some do, that's good
But some are like, "Nah, I was doin' something else at the time" or something, y'know?

It's so, for you, I just want you to enjoy the music
I'm gonna, uh, I put a special set list together for you
Y'know we'll do a couple of hits but, uh
I wanted to play some songs that-, that mean a lot to me
And I thought they might me a lot to you, because y'know

But let me give you a little bit of background, actually
Like the Mayor said, the Mayor, I grew up in Leavenworth, Kansas
Oh yeah, born and raised in Leavenworth
And I understand Kansas, Kansas has always been in my heart
Y'know, I've lived in California for a while but-, California
But Kasnas is, is, is really right here, so

When I was young, y'know, in Leavenworth, we have a lot of prisons in Leavenworth
And when I was very young, I was about, uh, eleven or twelve
I was in a variety show that use to go around and perform in the prisons
And of course we had like four men's prisons, and at the time the Kansas State
Women's penitentiary was part of the men's penitentiary
And it was in Lansing,
And I remember singing there and I-I felt-
I felt very close the time that I sang to those women
They were very, very appreicative
And, um, since then, ever since my dream has come true
And I was able to, y'know, do what I wanted
I have always planned to come back and do a show for you all
For the inmates at the women's penitentiary

So, man, just, just enjoy this evening
Tonight you are just-, you are just women loving music okay?

Alright, y'all alright now? We still good?
Okay look, ah, man
You've just got beautiful faces, it's so good to see y'all
It's so good

Alright, so I thought I would bring to you, actually one of my lesser known songs
But this song means a lot to me because it was, uh
I wrote it about my son, I had a son that uh, unfortunately
Passed away of an opioid overdose at twenty-one
And I tell ya what right now
If you all, uh, have been anywhere near that, well, you know how it is
And I knew that he was uh, he was either gonna
Find his way out, or or not, and he did not
But uh, ah, yeah, I love you too, you know

I tell ya, I don't know your personal situation
But uh, I can tell ya now, even though they might not tell ya
Your family members are glad that you're here and not dead
Okay, 'cause I would've, I would really love it if my son was in prison
And not here, ya know? So thank you, thank you very much

But this song, I could tell that he was headed down a road
And, the way I deal with my issues and feelings is to write songs
So this song is uh, is just about someone who is on that road
That scary road, when you don't know what's happening, ya know?
When you've had that trauma
And when you're reaching for that substance to try to make it better
And it never, ever will
And you don't know quite where you're going and you feel like something's following ya
Kinda like a Shadow of A Black Crow

I am levitating somewhere down the road
With a price on my head and the shadow of a black crow, yeah
He's been on my tail for close to three days
Just a little souvenir of my wicked ways

I would rather die fast than to ever live slow
Father, forgive me what my mother don't know
The scratch marks on my soul
From the shadow of a black crow

I've got a box of reds and a bottle of the blues
Comes a time in your life, honey, you've gotta choose
My belly's on fire from the acid of the truth
All the untold lies of my misspent youth

I would rather die fast than to ever live slow
Father, forgive me what my mother don't know
The scratch marks on my soul
From the shadow of a black crow

It's pretty when you're young
Just a pity when you're old, yeah
Am I running away, am I closer to home?

The lines and the signs and the miles go by
No one ever bothered to even ask me why
So I am disappearing into this road
With a six pack of sorrow and a shadow of a black crow

I would rather die fast than to ever live slow
Father, forgive me what my mother don't know
The scratch marks on my soul

I would rather die fast than to ever live slow
Father, forgive me what my mother don't know
The scratch marks on my soul
From the shadow of a black crow

This song I wrote, um, actually after I had breast cancer
I am nineteen years cancer free, yeah
A lot of that has to do with stress
And I know you all have a lot of stress
But uh, we gotta find a way to, to release that stress

So, um, I, I wrote a song song kind of
After I had gone through that experience
I wanted to um, I looked back in my past
At some of the things I did, some of the things I ran away from
And uh, this song is about, uh, running away
It's about an early relationship
Well, it wasn't even a relationship, it was a, uh, thank you, yes
Just a passing sort of thing that happened in 1982
This is the song, it's a little story
It's called, An Unexpected Rain

First time I saw you back in 1982
An LA bar, I've come so far
In my Kansas dancin' shoes
I'm just a singer and I'm lookin for a song
Do you want to sing along?
Two Greyhounds later and I'm feelin alright
I've got to have you and it must be tonight
C'mon back to my place
Well, it's really just a room
But I'll be making some money soon

Goodbye and thank you
Oh, my number, yeah, please phone
Two or three weekends on the 405 alone
You say, "Come on and stay and when you sing down at the bar
It will not be so far"

And I tried to do my best
I never meant to hurt no one
I was waitin' for my break
That I knew one day would come
And I plug in my guitar
And I look out across the room
And I dig into my heart
And I try to sing the truth
And I know I did my best
I never meant to hurt no one

As I recall back in 1982
I never said goodbye or why
I just left a note for you
Then one night I saw you
Across the road, across the dark
A shameful spear into my heart

Your look was haunting, an unexpected pain
I am so sorry for the unexpected rain
The sadness that you kissed
The fresh scars on you wrist
I can't make it go away
And I tried to do my best
I never meant to hurt no one
I was waitin' for my break
That I knew one day would come
And I plug in my guitar
And I look out across the room
And I dig into my heart
And I would try to sing the truth
And I know I did my best
I never meant to hurt no one, no one, no one

Good night, ladies
Good night, I'm gonna leave you now
Good night, ladies
Good night, I'm gonna leave you now, gonna leave you now
Good night, ladies
Good night, gonna leave ya, gonna leave you now
Good night, ladies
Good night, gonna leave you now
Good night, ladies
Good night
Sleep tight

I'm gonna do one of my, yeah, this is one of my hit songs
If you don't know, it, it's okay

Join me as I sing one of the craziest songs
About basically being a stalker, okay?

I know you're home
You left your light on
You know I'm here
The night is thin
I know you're alone
I watched the car leave
Your lover is gone
Let me in

Open your back door
I just need to touch you once more

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I can't explain
To see you again
I want to come over

I know your friend
You told her about me
She filled you with fear
Some kind of sin
How can you turn
Denying the fire
Lover I burn
Let me in

Open your back door
I just need to touch you once more
Oh, oh

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I can't explain
To see you again
I want to come over

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

I know you're confused
I know that you're shaken
You think we'll be lost
Once we begin
I know you're weak
I know that you want me
Lover don't speak
Let me in

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I can't explain
I want to come over
To see you
To see you again

(Okay) now here's a song
That uh, I wrote back in 2016
Yeah, back when, uh, huh
There was finally some light being shown
On the trauma that women go through, so often
The light was being shined on how sometimes the-
Game isn't quite played as fair for us women, y'know?
Yea-yes, y'know? And uh
Once again, I-I would never compare my experience with yours
I know we have so many different types of experiences
Here, in the courtyard today

But, um, if you've known abuse, if you've known trauma
Uh, I've-, I've known a little myself, and so I do understand it
And I do understand how you can carry it with you
But there finally came a time in 2016
That women all over the world was like
"Y'know? No, I'm not going to carry this alone anymore
I'm gonna let it be known, y'know, me too, that's right"

But let it be known, because man
That stuff turns into poison inside of you
Y'know? It's like-, y'know its like drinkin' poison
And hoping someone else would die, y'know, huh
When you have that sort of resentment, so
Once again I wrote a song
T-to kinda put it out there
That if maybe is someone could, y'know, take this song to heart

It's about-, it's about havin' your own love right here
About lovin' yourself and lettin' all that other stuff go
And knowing that no matter what has ever happened to you
That your love will live

I can smell the lies like a filthy net on me
All over my skin (all over my skin)
Suffocates my innocence, unwelcome hands on me
All over again (all over again)

There's a lie in the shadows saying I'm to blame
And it's feeding on my fear, my confusion and my shame
There's a lie in these years I've wasted on this pain
Things are gonna change
Right now

I did not shatter, did not crumble, didn't die
I have chosen to live
I'm no longer down, I am so much stronger now
I've got so much to give

I know that it's forgiveness that saves me from this fear
I'll get there some day (I'll get there some day)
I'm clear that it's this moment that gets me outta here
And I know the way (and I know the way)

There's a lie in the shadows saying I'm to blame
And it's feeding on my fear, my confusion and my shame
There's a lie in these years I've wasted on this pain
Things are gonna change
Right now

I did not shatter, did not crumble, didn't die
I have chosen to live
I'm no longer down, I am so much stronger now
I've got so much to give

Not my fault, it's my time
(Oh)

Love will live, love will love
Love will live, love will love
My love will live, my love will love, oh

I did not shatter, did not crumble, didn't die
I have chosen to live
I'm no longer down, I am so much stronger now
I've got so much to give

I have chosen to live

And there comes a point when you're-
You're like, "Okay, I've had the trauma
I know, I've had it, we've all had it
Okay, okay
And then you go like, "Okay, time to-
Time to move on to the hope, y'know
Time to move on to the future"
Because that is everything you got right now
Right now and the future

So I'm gonna do a song that um-
This one song by like 1999 record called Breakdown
And this song, uh
This song, this song was about the time I was like
"Y'know what? I got to let all that stuff go
I got to start looking to the future"

So I wrote a song
These were actually all the nightmares I use to have
About my childhood, y'know you get those reoccurring things
Over and over and over and over and yes, all those
So I put them into a song
And the meaning of this song is y'know what?
Sometimes you gotta pull all those stuff out
You got to go okay, I've been so afraid of this
All this that I've been so afraid of
I can move through it now, I'm just gonna walk through that fear
I'm gonna get though that, I'm gonna get to the other side

Sometimes, you gotta go into your soul, into you heart
And into the dark

There were stairs, they were steep
I was falling, falling deep
You were there, you were small
There was screaming down the hall

I've been here sleeping all these years
There comes a time we all know
There's a place that we must go
Into the soul
Into the heart
Into the dark

There was fire, there was death
There was lying on your breath
I turned away, I would pretend
But the burning never ends

I've been here sleeping all these years
There comes a time we all know
There's a place that we must go
Into the soul
Into the heart
Into the dark

There was a wave over the house
There was fear choked in my mouth
You were there, you left your mark
As I stumbled in the dark

There comes a time we all know
There's a place that we must go
Into the soul
Into the heart
Into the dark

There comes a time we all know (there is a place)
There's a place that we must go (we all must go)
Into the soul (into the dark)
Into the heart
Into the dark

There comes a time we all know (there is a place)
There's a place that we must go (we all must go)
Into the soul (into the dark)
Into the heart
Into the dark

There comes a time we all know (there is a place)
There's a place that we must go (we all must go)
(Into the dark we go)

(There is a place we all must go)
(Into the dark)

So, I'm gonna do a song
This song is probably my biggest hit
You, even if you don't know me, you might have heard this song
In an elevator, or, like, a department store somewhere
No, it's true
And, um, this song is, is just, it's just about wanting
It's about misunderstanding
But it's also about coming home, okay?
And so, I know that that all of, most of you, you know
Will go home
You will be coming home, okay?
So, take this song into your heart and, and just let it lift you up
And, um, and just know that I love you, okay?
Keep loving yourself

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give

Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window, I'll be home soon

Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest

I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you, oh

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window, I'll be home soon

I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this love
Anyway

Come, come to my window
I'll be home, I'll be home, I'll be home
I am coming home

Come to my window, oh-ho
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window, I'll be home soon
I'll be home, I'll be home
I am coming home

Come to my window, oh ho
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I'll be home, I'll be home, I'll be home

I wrote you all a song
Yes, I did
I have never played this song for anyone but you
So I called this song "A Burning Woman"
'Cause you are
That's good, that's a good thing
You got that fire
And I'm a little nervous, 'cause this is the world premiere
And I, I give it to you my friends
This, you, you have inspired me
And I hope you find a little bit of yourselves in this song
'Cause I, I've taken you on and tried to see through your eyes
And feel in your heart, okay?
So, here you go
Here's "A Burning Woman", alright

I took the pain, turned it into rage
I could never kill the truth pumpin' in my veins
I could never find a way out of my mind
I've had a whole lot of time, thought about it every day
I might have f*cked things up, but I could break the chain
Of everyone who hurt me and every time I hurt myself
And I don't wanna hurt no more
I'm not gonna hurt no more

Cause I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman
I'm not broken, I'm not broken
I'm a burning woman, I'm a burning woman
And I am worth it
Oh, baby, I'm worth it

Oh, there's nothing to fix
I ain't got nothing to cure
I might not know much
But I know for sure
Hurt people hurt people
And I don't wanna hurt no more

'Cause I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman
And I'm not broken
I'm not broken
I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman
And I am worth it
Oh, baby, I'm worth it

Ah, this is where you come in
You gotta help me now, alright?
Alright? Alright
It goes like this, you just repeat after me, okay?

I'm a burning woman (I'm a burning woman)
I'm a burning woman (I'm a burning woman)
I'm not broken (I'm not broken)
I'm not broken (I'm not broken)
I'm a burning woman (I'm a burning woman)
I'm a burning woman (I'm a burning woman)
I am worth it (I am worth it)
I am worth it (I am worth it)
I might've f*cked things up (I might've f*cked things up)
I might've f*cked things up (I might've f*cked things up)
I might've f*cked things up (I might've f*cked things up)
But I can break the chain (but I can break the chain)
I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman
I'm not broken
I'm not broken
I'm a burning woman
I'm a burning woman
And I'm worth it
I am worth it

Mort said I could play as long as I wanted

Hey, let me introduce you to these fine gentlemen that are playin' with me
Yeah, over here on the bass, you might recognize him from American Idol
He plays the bass on American Idol, ladies, this is Joe Ayoub
Back behind me on the drums, this is Mr. Eric Gardner
And over here on the guitar and the keyboards, this is Max Hart
Oh man, I got my whole crew out here
I wanted you to experience a real rock concert, yeah

Yeah, alright
Are you ready?

Tonight I feel so weak
But all in love is fair
I turn the other cheek
I feel the slap and a sting of the foul night air

And I know you're only human
And I haven't got talking room
But tonight while I'm making excuses
Some other woman is making love to you

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive?
Can't you see my baby's got another lover?
I don't know how I'm ever gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control? Yeah
Baby's got my heart, baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet devil
The sweet devil's got my soul

When will this aching pass?
When will this night be through?
I want to hear the breaking glass
I only feel the steel of the red hot truth
I'd do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some insanity of that temporary kind
Tell me how will I ever be the same
When I know that woman is whispering your name

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive?
Can't you see my baby's got another lover?
And I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control? Yeah
Baby's got my heart, baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet devil
The sweet devil's got my soul
Oh, yeah
Get down, warden, get down

Sweet devil's got my soul, oh
Hey, yeah, hey, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, hey

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive?
Can't you see my baby's got another lover?
And I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control?
Baby's got my heart, baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet devil
The sweet devil's got my soul

Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet devil
The sweet devil's got my soul

Friends, I've got one more song for you, alright?
Man, we have had a good time
Yes

Baby, I'm the only one
Baby, I'm the only one

Please, baby, can't you see
My mind's a burnin' hell
I got razors a-rippin' and tearin' and strippin'
My heart apart as well
Tonight you told me
That you ache for something new
And some other woman is looking like somethin'
That might be good for you

Go on and hold her 'til the screaming is gone
Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong

But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
Only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one

Please, baby can't you see
I'm trying to explain
I have been here before and I'm locking the door
And I'm not going back again
Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away
You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow
That holds you down today

Go on and hold her 'til the screaming is gone
Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong, yeah

But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
Only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one

Go on and hold her 'til the screaming is gone
Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong

But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
Only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one

Baby, I'm the only one, yeah
Didn't know I cold do this, here we go

I'm the only one, yeah

Here we go, here we go, come on

I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
Only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone

TCF
I might have f*cked things up (I might have f*cked things up)
I might have f*cked things up (I might have f*cked things up)
I might have f*cked things up (I might have f*cked things up)
But I can break the chain (but I can break the chain)
'Cause I am the only one

Is it so hard to younderstand I love U
'Cause no other letter
Looks and sounds like U do, yeah
Oh, I love your 'uh' sound
And have I ever told you
That I'd be upset if you left the alphabet
That's why I hold Uyou, hold you, like I do

U stand for understanding
For up and undemanding
And U stand for underwear
For ugly and unfair
And I don't know any letter
Who makes the 'uh' sound better
Than the letter U

I love the 'uh' sound, of the letter U
Ooh-ooh, and I want the 'uh' sound, of the letter U
Oh, I need the 'uh' sound, of the letter U
That's why I ache, that's why I ache
I ache, I ache, just to hold U, hold U
Like I do

No one else begins uptown
No one starts up upside-down
No one else begins unable, uncertain or unstable
And no one else can spell-a
A neat word like umbrella
Like the way U do, ah
Like the way U do
Nobody makes that 'uh' sound
Like the way U do
No, no, no, no
Give me that 'uh' sound, come on
Like the way U do
Like the way U do
Like the way U do