Unprofessional Opinion - This is Fine (and other lies) Lyrics

Step into my office, it's an existential spa
Where your trauma pays my bills and the DSM's my law
I'll smile and ask"How long have you felt this way?"
While my coffee's grown cold and my soul starts to fray
Oh, your dad abandoned you? Let's unpack that slow
But if you miss your copay, it'll be you who's gotta go
I'm the master of reframing, the Picasso of pain
Turning"you're a mess" into"you're growing again"
I'll wrap your chaos in a therapeutic bow
While quietly plotting my escape to Mexico
Your mother's a martyr? Let's dissect her control
While I scribble cryptic notes about your fractured soul
I'll validate your spiral with a well-timed sigh
And hope my poker face conceals my urge to cry
Oh, you're projecting pain on me? That's my daily grind
But my own therapist's out of town, so who'll handle mine
I'm the queen of composure, the juggler of pain
Turning chaos into calm while I circle the drain
Your epiphanies shine, but here's the twist
They'll haunt me at midnight, a ghost I can't dismiss
I keep a plant alive better than I do myself
But hey, your inner child looks good on my shelf
I've mastered"yes, go on" and the art of the stare
While my inner thoughts scream"Get me out of here!"
You're anxious, you're depressed, you're unraveling fast
Here's a breathing exercise to make your dread last
Meanwhile, I'm a Jenga tower ready to fall
But I'll still hold your hand as I crumble through it all
I'm a life raft for hire, your emotional sponge
Absorbing the wreckage while my own feelings plunge
I'll guide your epiphanies and your existential fits
While Googling"career change" in between your scripts
So here's to the healers, the ones holding the weight
While their own heads spiral at an alarming rate
We're smiling and nodding while drowning inside
Your life's a disaster, but we're along for the ride