Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones In, "raiders Of The Lost Bark" (part 1) Lyrics

Announcers:
Scene 1... Kentucky Jones gets thrown out of another bar

(lots of fighting going on)

Kentucky: Ah! God Damn! Jesus! eugh! argh! eungh! Help! Somebody! God!

Bar Fighter: STAY THE HELL OUT YOU COMMIE FAGGOT!

Kentucky: Eugh. Damnit. Can't a guy start a barfight without getting thrown into the streets? Well, I'd better get back to work.

(a kid runs into Kentucky)

Kentucky: Eugh!

Kid: Oh I'm so sorry Mister Jones!

Kentucky: Aw that's alright kid, just watch where yer going next time or I'll snap your n... Hey, wait a second. How do you know my name?

Kid: Everybody knows your name around here. You're search for The Lost Bark! Well I gotta go. Bye Bye!

Kentucky: Yeah, see ya around kid. Wait a second! HEY GET BACK HERE!

Kid: Yes Doctor Jones?

Kentucky: Why don't you give me back my wallet. And after you do that, we'll take you back to the police.

Kid: Oh no please Doctor Jones! I just wanted to buy some sushi!

Kentucky: Yeah, and I'm your dead granny! Come on kid let's go!

Kid: Wait! I will take you to my father if you don't turn me in. He is said to be the only one who knows where the Lost Bark is!

Kentucky: Hmmm, ok Kid, you've got a deal. But if you're lying, I'll snap your...

Kid: Yeah yeah, LET'S GO!

Announcer: End of Scene 1. Stay tuned next week for another action packed episode of... KENTUCKY JONES!

(trumpet)

Random Guy: hooooooooooooo!