Alan Jackson - The Talkin Song Repair Blues Lyrics

The mechanic raised up from under my hood,
'n-He shook his head and said: "This ain't good;
Your timin' belt's done shrunk one size too small;
And those spark plug wires are a little too long,
And your main prodsponder's nearly gone;
Your injector ports are stripped, and that ain't all...

...Your torque converter's runnin' low on torque,
And that water pump's nearly down a quart;
We caught it all in time, so you're in luck."
He said, "I've got the time, and I've got the parts,
Just give me the word, and I'm ready to start;
I think we can bring her in for-uh, eight-hundred bucks.

But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny;
It won't take too long, it'll just take money."

Then he said, "Aren't you that songwriter guy?"
'n-I said, "Yes I am."
He said, "So am I."
He set down and played me a song by the grease rack;
When he finished singin' he gave me a smile,
And I closed my eyes and pondered a while;
'n-he said, "What do you think?
Now don't hold nothin' back."

Well I gave him my most sorrowful look,
And I said, "This song's got a broken hook;
'n-I can order you a new one from Nashville, but it won't be cheap;
And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus,
'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus,
Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak.

But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny;
It won't take too long, it'll just take money."

'n-I said, "Hold on friend,
Now I'm not through;
I hate to be the one, to give you this news,
But your whole melodic structure's done worked itself loose;
It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it,
I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute;
I mean, that's just me talkin', it's really up to you...

...'n you've got a bad safety problem,
With that dominant chord, with the augmented fifth,
Just see how dangerously high it raises you up;
So just go on over and work on my car,
And I'll sit here by the fan, and chances are,
I can straighten this thing out for eight-...uh, nine-hundred bucks.

But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny;
It won't take too long..."

You guessed it...

It may be a hit...

I like it!