Bonfire Video (MV)

I walk, taking the long way
The smell of rain just leaving
Headphones on in the dark
Full moon to light my path
What if i'm left alone today
What if no one talks to me
I can't forget the opposite
And then what if i choke
I ignore it and press on
I'm only two blocks from the house
What do i do if i f*ck up
What do i do if someone hates me
I finally arrive to a greeting
I grab a drink and sit by the fire
I'm alone and people talk amongst themselves
The only one not talking is me

I immediately think this might be a bad idea
I've been here for hours and haven't even had a full conversation
Im shit faced
I talk to my friend and say I'm sorry but i think i might head out
He says you don't have to leave just talk to someone
How am i supposed to talk to someone when they are all in those little bubbles
Those tiny little social circles
What am i supposed to do shove my way in and say what are you talking about
That would be a f*cking disaster and you know it
So I'm sitting here and for the first time in the whole night someone says hi to me
Its a girl
I say hey whats going on
Do you have a cigarette
No i don't smoke
Can you not see how visibly anxious i am
Is it f*cked up to even think that
Is it selfish to think like that
How could i be in the right and everyone here is in the wrong
Thats so f*cked up that i would even think like that
But anxiety opens up that possibility even in a small way
My phone died
Am i gonna have to f*cking walk home now
I literally just f*cking walked here
Thats so f*cking stupid
I really don't want to sleep here
And i can't ask someone else for their phone
None of them even know me
I would just be disrupting their fun
I guess ill just wait