Bill Pekar - The Drunk Driver Song Lyrics

He was headed down the Highway 95 just 'bout on his last beer
When he pulled into Marty's for one more round
That's the way his old pickup steered
Well that old Shiner clock above the cooler
Lit up the beers on ice
And all the regulars, they were buying rounds
You know they're adding to his vice

Five after seven turned to ten before nine
I'm not talking about the time
When he felt that old tranny slip into drive
Once again, headed down 95
Well he didn't get far, just down the road
When a light show caught him from behind
Well he was driving pretty good at 35
But he was on the wrong side of the line

Please Mr Occifer don't take me away tonight
All I need is my warm bed, not a cold cell floor all night
Well I promise I'll never drink again
You know it happens all the time
So please Mr Occifer, I can't walk that crooked line

Well he had some time to think about
The seriousness of his crime
Before the man put him back in that black and white
Without wasting any time
All the money it could cost him
Could buy himself a brand new Jag
Five years probation, community service
Not to mention how his wife would nag

Now would he give thanks to the Lord
For saving his life this time
Or would a big old guy in a Stone Cold T-shirt
Say, "Tonight you're gonna be mine"
Well the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers
Won't make him that poster child this year
And I wonder how long 'til he's down at Marty's
You know he gave up drinking beer

Please Mr Occifer don't take me away tonight
All I need is my warm bed, not a cold cell floor all night
Well I promise I'll never drink again
You know it happens all the time
So please Mr Occifer, I can't walk that crooked line

So please Mr Occifer, I don't know my CBA's tonight
I said, please Mr Occifer
Please get that flashlight out of my eyes