Billy No Mates - Slaptop Lyrics

slap it on a laptop
send me off an email
get me on the landline
you could always text me, fax me
you could always page me
hurry up download
put me out my misery
is it 'cause I'm stupid?
is it 'cause I'm lazy?
is it 'cause I'm halfwit
and big words tend to faze me
you could always text me, fax me
you could always page me
give me the S.P.
put me out my misery
chuck it in a bottle
carve it in stone
morse code, smoke signal or semaphore
you could send
the toen cryer round to shout it in my ear
you could strap it
to a pigeon and send it home
no win no fee
same day delivery
so send it along