beauty Video (MV)

4 am I'm nodding off
This isn't what I thought it was
Hide myself behind these walls
Ya it's always my f*cking fault

But I don't want to Let go, let go
No I'm never going to let go, let go
Because there's beauty in the breakdown

I've been up
Just keeping up
For way too many days

I'm just pouring up
And throwing up
Just throwing my life away

Rambling and rambling and rambling
But all this money I'm spending ya
Its just my life I'm Gamblin' with

I Kick the party into gear
For me it's automatic
21 years later
I'm still a f*cking addict

Blurry reflection from all these tears
Bottle myself with a case of beer
Tryna run from the fear
Can't look at myself in the f*cking mirror

4 am I'm nodding off
This isn't what I thought it was
Hide myself behind these walls
Ya it's always my f*cking fault

But I don't want to Let go, let go
No I'm never going to let go, let go
Because there's beauty in the breakdown

I've up just going down this rabbit hole alone
I'm just lighting up and breaking down
And turning off my phone

Overthinking, under eating,
Over drinking, under weight
Just let me out the f*cking gate
And I won't think to hesitate ya

I kick the party up a notch
For me it's geggtting hectic
72 hours later
Wounds are getting septic

Blurry reflection from all these tears
Bottle myself with a case of beer
Tryna run from the fear
Can't look at myself in the f*cking mirror