Bellflower - Antihistamines Lyrics

My mother is a ghost inside of me
I'm walking around in her body
When she looks at me, it's her she sees
A mirror of her pride and insecurity
My body's waging wars against me
My doctor's been prescribing antihistamines
My therapist said it's fight or flight or freeze
My brother said just try smoking weed
I can't remember a time when I wasn't tired
It's like there's always been something behind my eyes
Pulling on the strings
Tightrope walking on my spine
If it were growing pains
I think that by now I'd be fine
I let my mind wander through the weeds
I tell myself a lie to go to sleep
I make a joke to handle it with levity
Before I ever take responsibility
I can't remember a time when I wasn't tired
It's like there's always been something behind my eyes
Pulling on a string
Tightrope walking on my spine
If it were growing pains
I think that by now I'd be fine
If it were growing pains
I think that by now I'd be fine