Bowdizz - Heartbeat Lyrics

I hold it so close there's no way I could leave it
Even if I'm the only one who can perceive it
I've never known love with a significant other
Probably why I'm in these beats they've provided me comfort
This music is my spirit form brought to existence
I just pray that you will take the time to give it one listen
It's like my patronus gonna be here when I'm not
I want this to speak for me when my body go rot
So everyday I'mma not make my heart beat normal
Even though it's a lot that I don't feel cordial
Want to be held down gotta hold it down first
Man I need to get right but I don't go to a church
It's only me and I search now I can't ever revert
To any basic life that part of me died in the dirt
And if the rest of me gets taken this is all that I'm worth
Just pour one for me homie now no more of me hurts

I've been looking for light in all the wrong places
Seems like I'm way behind when I reach the right phases
Retracing my steps evaluate my acquaintances
Do I look out for others but avoid my own maintenance
I don't know but I can't save someone who don't want it
Let it go breathing so this my life that I'm chasing
I'm dreaming large as can be an my heart beats racing
One direction to go pumped the balls deflating
Better put my all in to make it or I'll fall and just lose it
Had to call Saul from the basement he helped me keep it moving
An now I always hold the cards from the dealer who laid em
Was a tall phase growing up any excuses I'd place em
An I played the loser card like it's a card to lose
Then I found out either way you still get scarred n bruised
Yo commonly I'm found where they think I won't be at
I'm just a thought in my head that got ignited to react

Well aware and informed this don't make sense to my family
Since that day in my dorm that I decided I can't be
What they want me to be, I don't live for approval
I strive for a deeper purpose otherwise I feel futile
Can't put my all into something I'm not passionate for
A wide left was my step I couldn't walk through that door
But I keep my blessings in tact
I know I'm lucky as hell
I try to smile for the fact I even get to chase more