MILK Video (MV)

I ain't the same nigga that I once was
I lost my f*cking mind and then I fell in love
I did a bunch of drugs because I couldn't sleep
I lost a couple months, I chipped my f*cking teeth
And there's a couple women, and they know some things
About lies that I done told and shit that I done said
And niggas that I robbed, so I'm real paranoid
I have voices in my head

Hi, my name is Merlyn
I just applied for food stamps
I just moved to California, with my boy band
Dropped out of a good school
Hippies in my commune
I left 'fore the rent was due
Used to want a briefcase
And a short commute
Used to wanna sell coke
And whip an Audi Coupe, crazy if I did that
Wouldn't be talking to you
Walking through the pit falls
Of a college student
Crazy how you get them letters
And they make you feel accepted 'til you
Walking 'round the campus and
You the only African
Nobody would pass 'em, just cats that take directions well
Take acid trips to find themselves
Well

I gotta get better at being me
(Being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(Being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am)
Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with
(Being who I am)

Ever since I moved out I've been broke
Ever since I grew up I've been ugly
Ooh, and it get me some dollar
Dollar, dollar bills y'all
Ever since I left my momma house I've been mad as hell at the world
Sometimes you don't gotta rhyme when you feel it
Sometimes I barely ever feel a f*cking thing
Sometimes I wish that my f*cking phone would f*cking ring
And go off, and wake a nigga up
I'm used to being sad
And I'm used to being down
I'm used to being used
I miss my boy being around

I gotta get better at being me
(Being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(Being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am)
Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with
(Being who I am)

Droppin' all I got on this one day
I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one day
I just wanna be somebody someday
Droppin' all I got on this one way
I just wanna be somebody someday

I gotta get better at being me
(Being who I am)
I gotta get better at everything
(Being who I am)
I just want a friend that I can hang out with
(Being who I am)
Someone I can sit around, lay on my couch with
(Being who I am)

I'm trying to look for motivation of smaller things
But baby steps to my atonement when I foster dreams
I've been told I'm too transparent with my thoughts sometimes
So I wrote songs until they pass, and I can fall in line
I fell apart the moment that you thought you found yourself
'Cause I knew at that point I couldn't be in the equation anymore
But moving on with open, broken hearts
Will show you everything you need to see about yourself to start moving forward
So many things I wanna say that I'm not sure need to be known
But everybody swears they f*cking know me
So why don't I lay every card I'm holding on the table
At that point, I wonder what they'd show me
I almost lost my father
Still surreal for me to think about
Considering how many of my friends have lost theirs
I never know if what I'm saying is the right thing
If not, I'm ready more than ever for the crosshairs
It's all fair when it's not you
Some people have angels
What if only shadows follow you?
And all the ghosts inside that seem to hollow you
The branches of the weeping willow start to swallow you
And then you realize you're exactly where you're supposed to be
The horizon clears
You wipe the tears
And all the skeletons are ready for your story