I ain't the kind to hide from a fight,
But there's one thing that keeps me up at night,
It ain't whiskey, it ain't gin,
It's a secret that I keep within.
I got a Pina Colada in the larder,
Sneakin' a sip when life gets harder,
It ain't bourbon, it ain't rum,
But it's the only way I keep from comin' undone.
Now my woman thinks I'm tough as nails,
But if she knew, she'd raise some tails,
It's not a beer or a stiff ol' shot,
Just a tropical taste in a little glass pot.
I got a Pina Colada in the larder,
Sneakin' a sip when life gets harder,
It ain't bourbon, it ain't rum,
But it's the only way I keep from comin' undone.
She thinks I'm out there choppin' wood,
While I'm sippin' somethin' sweeter, hidden where I should,
She'd laugh me out the door, I fear,
If she caught me with this island cheer.
So I keep it tucked away, where she won't see,
Behind the beans and my stash of tea,
When the day's been rough and the sun's too hot,
I grab my glass and I hit that spot.
I got a Pina Colada in the larder,
Sneakin' a sip when life gets harder,
It ain't bourbon, it ain't rum,
But it's the only way I keep from comin' undone.
So if you see me grinnin' like a fool,
Know I've been dippin' in my tropical pool,
Just don't tell my woman, for heaven's sake,
Or I'll be drinkin' lemonade with my heartache!
I got a Pina Colada in the larder,
Sneakin' a sip when life gets harder,
It ain't bourbon, it ain't rum,
But it's the only way I keep from comin' undone.
Yep, got a Pina Colada in the larder,
A drink for when life gets harder,
It ain't bourbon, it ain't rum,
But it's the only way I keep from comin' undone.