Chelsea Cutler - How To Be Human Album Lyrics

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Sad Tonight

My friends tell me I'm good, but
Can I feel it too?
Wanna drink his lips off
But all I taste is you, yeah
Make the most of my days
And tell myself that you're gone
I don't wanna be right out
Missing you is so wrong

It hits me like a tsunami
Mmm, I feel you over my body
Oh, yeah, hey
Hate bein' so damn honest
You have my heart, but you don't even want it
No, you don't even want it

I'll let my friends take me out
On another night to some bar I, know you never liked
Kiss somebody who's not my type
And it won't feel right

So let me be sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
Sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
Sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
'Cause it feels so right
Yeah, it feels so right

You're all over my mind, yeah
I tried to find a new muse
Can't believe what you did, no
I don't really want to
I got thoughts in my mind, yeah
And it feels so loud
Could pretend that I'm fine
But I don't really know how

It hits me like a tsunami
Oh, I feel you over my body
Oh, yeah, hey
Hate bein' so damn honest
You have my heart, but you don't even want it
No, you don't even want it

I'll let my friends take me out
On another night to some bar I, know you never liked
Kiss somebody who's not my type
And it won't feel right

So let me be sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
Sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
Sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
'Cause it feels so right
Yeah, it feels so right
Sad tonight, sad tonight, sad tonight
'Cause it feels so right
Yeah, it feels so right

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Strangers Again

I don't wanna say I miss you
'Cause I don't know who I'd be missing
So I guess I'll just pretend that
I don't wanna wake up with you
'Cause that'd just be wishful thinking
So I lie, lie, lie instead

Yeah, I feel it on my chest
Wish the weight was from your head
Laying on my shirt
Like you would when we were together
It's so lonely in this room
But I'm too scared now to move
So I talk to god saying, "I don't want to live forever"

I wish that I could forget that I ever met you
I miss when you said that I was your best friend
We were so good 'til we weren't, you left and I let you
It hurts when lovers are strangers again

I don't wanna say I love you
'Cause I don't know who you've been loving
So I tell myself I don't when
I've been up all night
Reading our old texts from back in London, yeah
Before your heart went cold, mmm

Yeah, I feel it on my chest
Wish the weight was from your head
Laying on my shirt
Like you would when we were together
It's so lonely in this room
But I'm too scared now to move
So I talk to god saying, "I don't want to live forever"

I wish that I could forget that I ever met you
I miss when you said that I was your best friend
We were so good 'til we weren't, you left and I let you
It hurts when lovers are strangers again

Yeah, I feel it on my chest
Wish the weight was from your head
Laying on my shirt
Like you would when we were together
It's so lonely in this room
But I'm too scared now to move
So I talk to god saying, "I don't want to live forever"

I wish that I could forget that I ever met you
I miss when you said that I was your best friend
We were so good 'til we weren't, you left and I let you
It hurts when lovers are strangers again

Lovers are strangers again
Lovers are strangers again

Yeah, I feel it on my chest
Wish the weight was from your head
Laying on my shirt
Like you would when we were together
It's so lonely in this room
But I'm too scared now to move
So I talk to god saying, "I don't want to live forever"

I wish that I could forget that I ever met you
I miss when you said that I was your best friend
We were so good 'til we weren't, you left and I let you
It hurts when lovers are strangers again

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What Would It Take

Didn't say why you're leaving, yeah, we just hit a wall
Now I can't shake the feeling that this is all my fault
Staring up at the ceiling like it'll bring you home
But we both know it won't
Losing track of the hours that I spend in my bed
I'm losing the power to get out of my head
When it starts spinning downwards, so I face it alone
Yeah, I wish you'd come home

My heart beats out of my chest
Waiting for what happens next, yeah

I don't think it's normal
To be on the floor still shaking from the shower
Listening to old calls
Back when you would call me just to talk for hours, yeah
Something doesn't feel right
I can't make it feel right on my own, oh-oh
What would it take to make you come home?

I've been waiting for weeks now, I couldn't sleep for days
Everything we could be, how could you just walk away?
When I said, "Please don't leave now," I'm taking all your weight
Yeah, like it would make you stay

My heart beats out of my chest
Waiting for what happens next, yeah

I don't think it's normal
To be on the floor still shaking from the shower
Listening to old calls
Back when you would call me just to talk for hours, yeah
Something doesn't feel right
I can't make it feel right on my own, oh-oh
What would it take to make you come home?

Yeah, my heart is beating out my body
Because I'm hurting and I need somebody
And now I'm calling from my hotel lobby
And I don't understand why you don't want me
Yeah, my heart is beating out my body
Because I'm hurting and I need somebody
And now I'm feeling in a hotel lobby
And I don't understand why you won't love me

I don't think it's normal
To be on the floor still shaking from the shower
Listening to old calls
Back when you would call me just to talk for hours, yeah
Something doesn't feel right
I can't make it feel right on my own, oh-oh
What would it take to make you come home?
What would it take to make me let go?

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I Was In Heaven

I dreamt you loved me still
Why did it feel so real?
I can't forget it
I can't forget it
I dreamt you said my name
You looked at me the same
I was in heaven
I was in heaven

But you don't see what you saw in me
When you said you would never leave
And I swore that I couldn't breathe
When you walked away from me
And I'm so scared to watch you grow
Without my hand for you to hold
'Cause I swore I would be your soul
Never let you walk alone
Even when you're hurtin' me
I'll still be your person, baby

I dreamt you took me on
Your voice felt way too close
I could still hear it
I could still hear it
I dreamt you touched my hand
My stomach dropped again
I could still feel it
I can still feel it

But you don't see what you saw in me
When you said you would never leave
And I swore that I couldn't breathe
When you walked away from me
And I'm so scared to watch you grow
Without my hand for you to hold
'Cause I swore I would be your soul
Never let you walk alone
Even when you're hurtin' me
I'll still be your person, baby

Every time I pray
I swear I hear the voices say
You'll come back
You'll come back home
I'm so scared to leave the bed
Where you were next to me
I can't let, I can't let go

But you don't see what you saw in me
When you said you would never leave
And I swore that I couldn't breathe
When you walked away from me
And I'm so scared to watch you grow
Without my hand for you to hold
'Cause I swore I would be your soul
Never let you walk alone
Even when you're hurtin' me
I'll still be your person, baby

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Are You Listening

If I could take back what I said, I wouldn't
'Cause this doesn't feel like love as I understood it
And I can't afford to throw you a line when I shouldn't
'Cause you are losing me

And I wish that I could change my point of view
So I could see you the way I want to
And I hope you realize what you put me through
You are losing me

You're gonna wish that I wasn't loving someone new
You're gonna wish that I was sleeping next to you
You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

You're gonna wake up all alone in the morning
And you're gonna wish you could go back to before this
You're gonna tell all of your friends that you're broken (broken)
'Cause you are losing me ('cause you are losing me)

And I wish that I could change my point of view
So I could see you the way I want to
And I hope you realize what you put me through
You are losing me

You're gonna wish that I wasn't loving someone new
You're gonna wish that I was sleeping next to you
You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

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NJ

Is it over? Does it has to be over?
Wanna share a cigarette, I want your head on my shoulder
Wanna fight and f*ck it up, I wanna sing you to sleep
Wanna smile when you kiss your favorite spot on my cheek
I wanna tell you I'm sorry for the mistakes I've made
That I forgive you for the part that you played
I wanna call, but what the f*ck would I say, NJ?

Oh, NJ, tell me that you're leaving so
One day, you'll be ready to come home

Is it over? Does it has to be over?
Wanna take you out in SoHo, get your favorite order
Wanna fight the way we did when we got too drunk together
Share our music on the subway and wear each other's sweaters
Wanna kiss you underneath the Eiffel Tower in Paris
'Fore we got back on a plane to go back home to your parents
Wanna talk about our problems 'cause I know they got buried
And two people this in love should never have to be worried

Oh, NJ, tell me that you're leaving so
One day, you'll be ready to come home
Oh, NJ, tell me that you're leaving so
One day, you'll be ready to come home

It's not over, it don't have to be over
I know that we could both be ready when we get a bit older
I know you want us to move on because you think that it's better
We could move on for the moment and not move on forever
I wanna talk about how Charlie is a nickname for Charlotte
Talk about moving to L.A. 'cause New York is the hardest
No, you couldn't see the future, but I swear that I saw it
You were happy 'cause we finally got all that we wanted
I wanna tell you I'm sorry for the mistakes I made
That I forgive you for the part that you played
I wanna call, but what the f*ck would I say, NJ?

Oh, NJ, tell me that you're leaving so
One day, you'll be ready to come home to me

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Somebody Else Will Get Your Eyes

Know you're doing all you could to me
Took your keys and left the memories
Fell so fast, burned your way out of love for me
Told you all the ways that I would change
All the parts of me that you can take
Take 'em out, make a brand new hole in me

You look so much happier
Without me there

Somebody else is waking up inside your bed when I'm alone
Because I'll never say enough to make you wanna keep me close
I'm just the reason why you're running out of patience
Can't keep pretending that we're something worth saving

Going all the places we would go
Someone else who doesn't have to know
I'm lost on somebody who left a hole in me, yeah

You look so much happier
Without me there

Somebody else is waking up inside your bed when I'm alone
Because I'll never say enough to make you wanna keep me close
I'm just the reason why you're running out of patience
Can't keep pretending that we're something
Somebody else will get your eyes
When you're half sleeping and you say
You think you're in love because you've never felt this way
No point in throwing water on an open flame when
There's nothing left that will ever be worth saving

You're my favorite hurt and I'd go if I could
And I am still learning just how to be good
You're my favorite hurt and I'd go if I could
And I am still learning just how to be good

Somebody else is waking up inside your bed when I'm alone
Because I'll never say enough to make you wanna keep me close
I'm just the reason why you're running out of patience
Can't keep pretending that we're something
Somebody else will get your eyes
When you're half sleeping and you say
You think you're in love because you've never felt this way
No point in throwing water on an open flame when
There's nothing left that will ever be worth saving

You're my favorite hurt and I'd go if I could
And I am still learning just how to be good
You're my favorite hurt and I'd go if I could
And I am still learning just how to be good

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You Are Losing Me

If I could take back what I said, I wouldn't
'Cause this doesn't feel like love as I understood it
And I can't afford to throw you a line when I shouldn't
'Cause you are losing me

And I wish that I could change my point of view
So I could see you the way I want to
And I hope you realize what you put me through
You are losing me

You're gonna wish that I wasn't loving someone new
You're gonna wish that I was sleeping next to you
You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

You're gonna wake up all alone in the morning
And you're gonna wish you could go back to before this
You're gonna tell all of your friends that you're broken (broken)
'Cause you are losing me ('cause you are losing me)

And I wish that I could change my point of view
So I could see you the way I want to
And I hope you realize what you put me through
You are losing me

You're gonna wish that I wasn't loving someone new
You're gonna wish that I was sleeping next to you
You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

You're gonna wish that you never broke my heart in two
And you weren't losing me when I have already lost you

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I Miss You

It's my fault that you're leaving
'Cause I can't give you reasons
Letting go has been my weakness
And I'm so sorry that I am this way
(So sorry that I am this way, so sorry that I am this way)

I'm so scared I love you still
I'm so scared I love you still
I'm so scared I love you still
(So sorry that I am this way, so sorry that I am this way)
I'm so scared I love you still
I'm so scared I love you still
I'm so scared, yeah

I want the feeling you give me, no, I don't wanna let go
It's easier hurtin' than tryna move on
Sadness can't fill the wound that's been open, you know
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along

It's my fault that you're leaving
'Cause I don't know a good thing
I start fires when you're sleeping
And I'm so sorry that I am this way
(So sorry that I am this way, so sorry that I am this way)

I'm so scared I need you still
I'm so scared I need you still
I'm so scared I need you still, yeah
I'm so scared I need you still
I'm so scared I need you still, yeah

I want the feeling you give me, no, I don't wanna let go
It's easier hurtin' than tryna move on
Sadness can't fill the wound that's been open, you know
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along

I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along

I want the feeling you give me, no, I don't wanna let go
It's easier hurtin' than tryna move on, yeah
Sadness can't fill the wound that's been open, you know
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along

I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along
I miss you, I miss you, I missed you all along

If I fall asleep, will I stop thinking about you?
I don't know what the f*ck you want me to do
I know you don't see what you saw in me
If I fix myself, would that make you want me again?
I don't know what the f*ck is wrong with my head
I'm not the person I wanted to be

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The Human Condition

Cried for weeks when you said you were leaving
Left my food in the sink, couldn't eat it
Couldn't sleep, stared awake at the ceiling
It's all gonna be okay
Ripped the card that you wrote me in Paris
All the pictures on my wall I would stare at
And your clothes that I used to love wearing
All of my friends say

It's a part of the human condition
Everyone falls, everybody goes trippin'
Told him that I loved him, and he didn't listen
Now I'm just twenty-two
Learning how to live with what I'm given
It's all gonna be okay
All of my friends say

On my hands and my knees, now I'm praying
Wish I understood what the priest was saying
Drank the blood of Christ, took the bread and ate it
It's all gonna be okay
Got a verse tattooed on my hands of
Words of God so I never feel unloved
'Cause validation might as well be its own drug
All of my friends say

It's a part of the human condition
Everyone falls, everybody goes trippin'
Told him that I loved him, and he didn't listen
Now I'm just twenty-two
Learning how to live with what I'm given
It's all gonna be okay
All of my friends say
It's all gonna be okay
All of my friends say

Cried for weeks when you said you were leaving
Left my food in the sink, couldn't eat it
Couldn't sleep, stared awake at the ceiling
It's all gonna be okay

It's a part of the human condition
Everyone falls, everybody goes trippin'
Told him that I loved him, and he didn't listen
Now I'm just twenty-two
Learning how to live with what I'm given
It's all gonna be okay
All of my friends say
It's all gonna be okay
All of my friends say

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Lucky

How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody
How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody like

You are the voice in my head, something I cannot forget
Your word is gospel and I want you
Moving at the speed of light, two wrongs can still make a right
If you believe it and I want to

How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody
How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody like

Sometimes I wish you would've stayed in my dreams
'Cause now that you're real, now I could lose you
Nothing last forever ain't as bad as it seems
'Cause my favorite thing to do is to do nothing with you

How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody
How lucky am I? How lucky am I? Yeah
To love somebody, to love somebody like

To love somebody, to love somebody
(How lucky am I? Yeah)
To love somebody, to love somebody

It's not every day you could hear me say, you could hear me
I love somebody, I love somebody
It's not every day you could hear me say, you could hear me
I love somebody, I love somebody, yeah

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I Should Let You Go

You don't believe in love, well, I don't believe in you
Ooh, ooh
I couldn't be enough, well, what am I supposed to do?
Ooh, ooh, yeah

Probably shouldn't be driving right now, yeah
With all these Benzos in my blood
Probably shouldn't be tryna talk you down
When you don't wanna wanna be loved

You told me to come over, then you told me I should go
It's colder this October, so I wait for a cab home
You know I'm not over it, tell me is it over yet?
Giving me a hundred reasons I should let you go, but

Go, but
I should let you go, but
Oh

Fell asleep with makeup on
Wishin' you're the reason that my clothes came off
And I'm so far gone
I don't even know if I know you at all

Probably shouldn't be driving right now, yeah
With all these Benzos in my blood
Probably shouldn't be trying to talk you down
When you don't wanna wanna be loved

You told me to come over, then you told me I should go
It's colder this October, so I wait for a cab home
You know I'm not over it, tell me is it over yet?
Giving me a hundred reasons I should let you go, but

Go, but
I should let you go, but
Go, but
I should let you go, but
Oh

You told me to come over then you told me I should go
It's colder this October, so I wait for a cab home
You know I'm not over it, tell me is it over yet?
Giving me a hundred reasons I should let you go, but

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How To Be Human

This is only the beginning

Four shots deep, I'm out alone again
'Cause I don't really know who to call friend, yeah
Should have stayed home, but I'd rather pretend
That I'm not gonna lose it, I know what I'm doing, yeah

I call you, but you never pick up
Maybe I'm just asking too much, yeah
Thought I'd know it all by 21
But I still don't know

How to be human
Still don't know how to be human
I don't know what I am doing
Please tell me how to be human

4 AM and I can't sleep again
I don't know God, but I know that I sin
I wanna love, but I have thicker skin
Now that somebody has hurt me
Heart was broken early, yeah

I call you, but you never pick up
Maybe I'm just asking too much, yeah
Thought I'd know it all by 21
But I still don't know

How to be human
Still don't know how to be human
I don't know what I am doing
Please tell me how to be human

I call you, but you never pick up
Maybe I'm just asking too much, yeah
Thought I'd know it all by 21

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New Recording 28 - Lions

I haven't heard you say goodnight
Slip both your hands between my thighs
Turn out the light, pulling me in
Counting the freckles that dapple my skin

I haven't felt you scratch my back
I make a joke cause I know you will laugh
My favorite sound, I hope that you still
Laugh just as much now I'm not there to hear

And I'll lay awake hoping that you're asleep in your building that's only sixteen blocks from mine
And I'll sleep all day hoping that you're awake loving every moment and doing alright
You said if I really love you then I'd understand why a person like you needs some time
So I'll let you go, and hope you come home, if you're really mine

You were my sun, I saw a light
I've always been happy but sad in this life
But you gave me more, something to keep
Now I'm counting how many Ks put me to sleep

I want you to smile, to feel like enough
Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love
I hope you come back when you're doing well
Forgive me for being the worst of myself

And I'll lay awake hoping that you're asleep in your building that's only sixteen blocks from mine
And I'll sleep all day hoping that you're awake loving every moment and doing alright
You said if I really love you then I'd understand why a person like you needs some time
So I'll let you go, and hope you come home, if you're really mine

I watch the sun go down at the beach
And think about kissing you back in your jeep
Watching the wind make home in you hair
And thinking that I could die happy right there

I took my phone to tape as you walked
Down the rye coast with your hand in my palm
So I never forget how it feels to be home
So when I close my eyes, that's where I go

And I'll lay awake hoping that you're asleep in your building that's only sixteen blocks from mine
And I'll sleep all day hoping that you're awake loving every moment and doing alright
You said if I really love you then I'd understand why a person like you needs some time
So I'll let you go, and hope you come home, if you're really mine

---

Crazier Things

I've been trying not to think about it, I can't help it
I know you don't wanna hear from me, but I am selfish
And it kills me inside that you can drink on Friday nights
And not even pick up the phone
Yeah, it amazes me that you move on so easily
From someone that you once called home

I wish you had enough discipline for the both of us
Just because I don't know how to turn off the way I feel
I know you always fell out love so damn easily
But honestly, I don't think you ever had something real

Until you met me, drinks in New York City
Boy, you looked so pretty
Think I fell in love before I even knew your birthday
Kissed you on our first date
Somehow I knew someday
This would hurt 'cause I could never let you go

Oh, I'll spend my whole life
Missing the part of me, part of me
Oh, I'll spend my whole life
Hoping your heart is free, heart is free

I don't think that this is fair but I'm still gonna ask you
What if we're still meant to be, crazier things have happened
It tears me apart, you can have love in your heart and not have to act on it
It erases me and everything I thought we'd be
Back when we gave our promise

I wish you had enough discipline for the both of us
Just because I don't know how to turn off the way I feel
I know you always fell out love so damn easily
But honestly, I don't think you ever had something real

Until you met me, drinks in New York City
Boy, you looked so pretty
Think I fell in love before I even knew your birthday
Kissed you on our first date
Somehow I knew someday
This would hurt 'cause I could never let you go

Do you not dream of me?
'Cause I have visions in my sleep
I can never find my peace now
Do you wake up alone?
Feeling aching in your bones
So are you happy without me now?

First time that you told me
You thought that you loved me
That bar in the city
I thought you were drunk
But I knew deep down that you meant it
Wish that I had said it
I was scared to let it happen
But it happened and now I cannot forget it
Oh, I'll spend my whole life
Missing the part of me, part of me
Oh, I'll spend my whole life
Hoping your heart is free, heart is free