Victory Album Lyrics by Cian Ducrot

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Victory

Ever since I was a little kid
I was never a favorite
But I dreamt of growing up
And maybe, one day I'd change it
But I got used to it
Having no one to play with
Even grown-ups walking out
Oh, I remember the day that

I was standing in front of you, picking sides in our living room
Who would've thought I'd be losing you?
I remember I'd have begged if you'd asked me to
Anything just not to lose, left your kid with some issues

Then I grew up a bit, realized I was different
Well, it was not that I wished it, but it was hard not to hear it
In every school kid and I tried not to give it worth
Or stir the pot and make it worse
Or just end up getting hurt

Oh, I've got so much to say
The life we live makes us this way

Oh, just leave me in your memory
'Cause my heart can't take the part where you come back to me
Oh, yes, I know it's for the best of me
If I never fought, then you'd never have to leave
And the sweeter the-
The sweeter the victory, victory
The sweeter the victory, victory

Am I just the product of a boy who wasn't loved by his father?
Spent my life chasing praise, just to end up a monster
I got a note from my doctor, he said to not even bother
'Cause, when you're messed up as a kid
You'll pass it on to your daughter

And it gets worse on your partner
All the pain that I'm harboring
Shoots me down like an armory
But it's always been part of me
Learn to live by the glory of knowing
It doesn't hold me and choke me
And now I'm looking at these pictures on my phone when you're gone
And thinking, maybe I messed up and I was wrong
Maybe I messed up and I was wrong

Oh, I've got so much to say
The life we live makes us this way

Oh, just leave me in your memory
'Cause my heart can't take the part where you come back to me
Oh, yes, I know it's for the best of me
If I never fought, then you'd never have to leave
And the sweeter the-
The sweeter the victory, victory
The sweeter the victory, victory

All of my life, never felt so right now
The sweeter the victory, victory
All of my life, never felt so right now
The sweeter the victory, victory

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I'll Be Waiting

Leave your keys if you're not coming home
You packed your bags full of letting go
You were moving in, now you're moving on
There's no getting used to you being gone

You were down now you're giving up
Just a false start if you're quitting on us
Another year, just another lie
Wish you'd call so I could say goodbye

And let you know
I'll wait for you every night

If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting

Never thought that you'd be giving up
Guess with all the climbing you're tired and you fell out of love
Maybe if you don't crash the landing
You'll end up right back where I'm standing

And then you'll know
I'll wait for you every night

If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting

If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting

---

Him

I'm killing myself
But you're falling for somebody else you knew before
You said you were friends, I knew it was more
All of the signs I try to ignore

If I tell you I'm leaving, would you come clean?
I won't tell you I'm done, baby, stay with me

Had I known that you needed him
From the way that you looked at me
I'd never have let you leave
I'd have been on my knees
Oh, I'm falling now
'Cause you can't be found
When I'm missing you
It's a lonely room

Am I just a man you don't want around?
Someone you regret, something you've drowned
And all of our friends, at least they turned up
While you turned your back, I thought we'd grown up

If I tell you I'm leaving, would you come clean?
Don't you tell me you're done, baby, stay with me

Had I known that you needed him
From the way that you looked at me
I'd never have let you leave
I'd have been on my knees
Oh, I'm falling now
'Cause you can't be found
When I'm missing you
It's a lonely room

Would you let me love you, darling? (Would you let me love you?)
Would you let me love you now? (Would you let me love you?)
Would you let me love you, darling? (Would you let me love you?)
Would you let me love you now?

Had I known that you needed him (would you love me, darling?)
From the way that you looked at me
I'd never have let you leave (would you love me, darling?)
I'd have been on my knees
Oh, I'm falling now (I'm falling now)
'Cause you can't be found ('cause you don't be found)
When I'm missing you (when I'm missing you)
It's a lonely room

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Heaven

When I was four, I fell off my bike
But you told me I'd be okay
When I was five, you were by my side
When mama was far away
When I was ten, you were my best friend
When no one else came to play
If anyone hits you, you hit back harder
That's what you'd always say

And you'd say, "Oh"

It's been a long, long day
Are we in Heaven, Heaven, Heaven?
'Cause I don't feel pain
I guess that this is Heaven, Heaven
And, if you're far away
We're still together, 'gether, 'gether
And if I never prayed
I guess that we're in Heaven, Heaven

As we got older, you never smiled
And I know it's because of him
Oh, you carried that pain more than any child should
Buried under your skin
Remember that time when I lost my voice
And they said I would never sing?
Well, now you've got a kid, I'm with Ed on tour
In cities I've never been

And you'd say, "Oh"
You'd say, "Hold my hand, I'll be your brother wherever you go"

It's been a long, long day
Are we in Heaven, Heaven, Heaven?
'Cause I don't feel pain
I guess that this is Heaven, Heaven
And, if you're far away
We're still together, 'gether, 'gether
And if I never prayed
I guess that we're in Heaven, Heaven

Now we've grown up and you've built that love
You've got your own family
And maybe one day when I build my own
I'll remember you said to me

It's been a long, long day
Are we in Heaven, Heaven, Heaven?
'Cause I don't feel pain
I guess that this is Heaven, Heaven
And, if you're far away
We're still together, 'gether, 'gether
And if I never prayed
I guess that we're in Heaven, Heaven

Oh (Heaven)
Oh (Heaven, Heaven, Heaven)
Oh (Heaven)
Oh

---

How Do You Know

How do you know, do you know
That the good days are now
While you're living them out?
Someone's off in the corner
Pitching a fire, all on their own
Someone's calling their friends
While you're missing them and they're so far from home

All the lads in the corner
Singing to daughters and dancing around
Half a Jack on the table
'Cause no one's been able to drink it down
Well, we don't know the words but we're singing
'Cause these are the times

So, how do you know, do you know
That the good days are now
While you're living them out?
And how do you know, do you know
That the ones that you're living
Are the ones you'll be missing?
Well, we don't know the words but we're singing
'Cause these are the times
So, how do you know, do you know
That the good days are now
While you're living them out right now?

One lost touch in the summer
Moved to the suburbs, probably settled down
I'm not sure about the others
One lost his brother and one moves around

I still think of that night
Did we have it all right?
Still, we all searched for more
So now, when I sit 'round a table
I wish we were able to sing it like before
Well, we don't know the words but we're singing
'Cause these are the times

So, how do you know, do you know
That the good days are now
While you're living them out?
And how do you know, do you know
That the ones that you're living
Are the ones you'll be missing?
Well, we don't know the words but we're singing
'Cause these are the times
Well, we don't know the words but we're singing
'Cause these are the times, right now

All that's left is a photo
I don't even know who took it back then
Who'd have thought in the moment
That I'd get to hold all that's left in the end?

---

All For You

I roll over but it's empty
You used to lay here beside me
I swallow my pride 'cause it's all on me
Is it too late? Forgive me
Did you mean what you said? Are you angry?
Lost more than a friend, now I'm on my knees

I don't know why I'm praying tonight
But if you can hear me
Tell me if you hear me

And I should have called
And I should have tried
And I should have walked you home every night
And I should have kissed you ten thousand times
Just to tell you I love you
I should have done it all
All for you, baby
But now I'm just a little too late
To be what you needed
But I hope that he is

You took me around but we got nowhere
'Cause you were naïve while I was too scared
So when we lit a fire, you run towards the flames
And I start around and I watched you burn
Then arose up to claim you and left you in the dirt
Kept my hands to myself like I kept my word
Fool you once, never twice, I guess you've learned

And I don't know why I'm praying tonight
But if you can hear me
Tell me if you hear me

And I should have called
And I should have tried
And I should have walked you home every night
And I should have kissed you ten thousand times
Just to tell you I love you
I should have done it all
All for you, baby
But now I'm just a little too late
To be what you needed
But I hope that he is

I shouldn't have promised that I'd never fall
But you saw the writing all over the walls
I try not to cry in the places we'd go to
But I still f*cking care for you

I hope that he calls
I hope that he tries
I hope that he walks you home every night
I hope that he kisses you ten thousand times
Just to tell you he loves you

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Step Dad

Well, you came at a dark time
I guess you didn't know
Maybe that's love
Or maybe that's just life
You never came first
Me, him and her and you in the back light
Can't imagine how it hurts
Tryin' to be a dad, like, tryin' to be the man, right?
Watching us fall, watching us cry, watching us conquer

Trying not to bleed, picking up the pieces left by a monster
So, how does it feel, giving it your all
But it's only getting harder?
Push away 'cause I don't need a father
Please stay 'cause I really need a father

I remember the night that you came
Remember the way that it changed
Everything, all that you saved
Mama was never so brave
You made a home of a place
Together, you helped us escape
All of the love that you gave
All of the love you replaced
All of the loving that I never thought I'd embrace

It's always been you (it's always been you)
It's only been you (it's only been you)
It's always been you (it's always been you)
It's only been you (it's only been you)
It's always been you, it's always been you, it's always been you

So, as I've grown up
I see the man I am, I see the man he his, see a man I love
Based on one who doesn't even know he raised me up
I hope I can show, shot to the God, drenched in the flood
When all is said and done

You'll always have my love
I know I'm not a part of you
But what's blood?
You loved in a way that's deeper in these veins
Than blood could ever stain
And that's where you'll remain

I remember the night that you came
Remember the way that it changed
Everything, all that you saved
Mama was never so brave
You made a home of a place
Together, you helped us escape
All of the love that you gave
All of the love you replaced
All of the loving that I never thought I'd embrace

It's always been you (it's always been you)
It's only been you (it's only been you)
It's always been you (it's always been you)
It's only been you (it's only been you)
It's always been you, it's always been you, always been you

Whenever I'm lost, whenever I'm down and I'm kneeling
Whenever I'm crying, whenever I'm broke and on my knees and
Whenever I'm hurt, whenever I'm scared and I'm bleeding
It's always been you, it's always been you, it's always been you

Whenever I'm frightened, whenever I'm a fool and I'm kneeling
Whenever the night takes me back and I'm weeping
Whenever I'm cross, it's too much with the demons
It's always been you, it's always been you, it's always been you

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Mama

I see the past still hides in your closet
I see you can't move but you're starting to process
So now I hope to God that you're making some progress
Guess I don't believe but I'm just being cautious

I see the guilt weighing heavy on your conscious
I see that all the pain isn't gone, it's a constant
I hope that you can step back and put it in context
'Cause that man, he belongs in a coffin

I hope one day that you'll see
Everything I did was for you and me
Everything I did was for you to see, you to see
I hope one day, that you'll believe
Everything I have, yeah, you gave to me
I'm everything I am 'cause you made me, you made me

I wish I had a verse with some better words
Wish I had a hope that you've never heard
Wish one day that you wouldn't hurt
'Cause mama, you give me the world
I wish I had a way with some better rhymes
But I still can't say what I can't find
I wish one day that you wouldn't cry
'Cause mama, you kept me alive
Whatever you need, I promise I'll try
I promise I'll try 'cause mama

I know it all comes up when we're talking
I know you're tryin' to save me the pain that it's causing
I never see you crying, now I hear that it's pouring
So, let me be the roof while you pull up the flooring
I know it's not meant to be something you're forcing
But I wish that you could force a little more, it's important
'Cause now it's your time and you're turn to be open
And everything you kept in a box, you can throw it

I hope one day that you'll see
Everything I did was for you and me
Everything I did was for you to see, you to see
And I hope one day, that you'll believe
Everything I have, yeah, you gave to me
I'm everything I am 'cause you made me, you made me

I wish I had a verse with some better words
Wish I had a hope that you've never heard
Wish one day that you wouldn't hurt
'Cause mama, you give me the world
I wish I had a way with some better rhymes
But I still can't say what I can't find
I wish one day that you wouldn't cry
'Cause, mama, you kept me alive
Whatever you need, I promise I'll try
I promise I'll try 'cause mama
You kept me alive
'Cause mama, you kept me alive

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Hurt When You Hurt Me

You were meant to be the one who always cares
You're supposed to call when no one's there
You were meant to say I love you at the end
Always my friend
You were meant to be the one to say I do
After something old and something blue
All I borrowed was my time with you
There's nothing new

And if you're gonna let me down
Let me down a little more gentle, darling
'Cause it's killing me now, killing me now
I'm not the one who gets to call you darling

So, where are you now? Where did you go?
'Cause I gave forever
When you took whatever you needed the most
And I poured my love out while you tore my heart apart
And that was the easiest part
I know the tables have turned
But I'll still never learn
That you don't deserve me
And if you really loved me
It would hurt when you'd hurt me

I always thought that you would be the one
When they ask me who's the one to blame
For trading all my talent in for love instead of fame
So, even if I reach beyond my peers
It's loss if you're no longer near
It's worthless without you here, my dear

If you're gonna let me down
Let me down a little more gentle, darling
'Cause it's killing me now, killing me now
I'm not the one who gets to call you darling

So, where are you now? And where did you go?
'Cause I gave forever
And you took whatever you needed the most
And I poured my love out while you tore my heart apart
And that was the easiest part
I know the tables have turned
But I'd still never learn
That you don't deserve me
And if you really loved me
It would hurt when you'd hurt me

You don't deserve me
'Cause if you really loved me
It would hurt when you hurt me

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Blame It On You

Lately, she's tryin' to move on with her life
She's got two grown kids always there by her side
But her happiness lives on the edge of a knife
And the sadness resides in the box in her mind

She's got too many tragedies weighing her down
But her mom's too sick and her dad's not around
Spending way too much time living under a cloud
So, she can't even see a way out

I think she knows it's not her fault
It's just how it goes, when he never calls
He promised her and gave his word
But instead he broke it, along with her world

It's the same old story
Twenty years later
She said sorry
For all that you've taken
It kills me to see it
But it's nothing new
She's blaming herself for everything that we went through
But I blame it on you

Heard that you're still living up in your castle
Trying to live your happy ever after
You won't win the war 'cause you didn't even battle
I guess that we never really mattered

I think she knows it's not her fault
It's just how it goes, when he never calls
He promised her and gave his word
But instead he broke it, along with her world

It's the same old story
Twenty years later
She said sorry
For all that you've taken
It kills me to see it
But it's nothing new
She's blaming herself for everything that we went through

So, don't you worry if you're not sorry
I'll be beside her, her shoulder to cry on
We'll blame it on you, blame it on you, blame it on you
I guess I should thank you for dragging us under
You tore us apart but we ended up stronger
And we'll blame it on you, blame it on you, blame it on you

So, she's changed her story
Twenty years later
She never says sorry
For the things that you've taken
And I love to see it
She's likes someone new
No more blaming herself for everything that she went through
She blames it on you

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Endless Nights

Endless nights, they shot across the boat
You take the high road once again
And I'll take the lows
I see the sadness in your eyes now
And it's difficult to swallow
(It's difficult to swallow, to swallow)

Packed your bags, got out before the slope
Want you to stay for one more night
Would that just rock the boat?
I know I should've done the math
But it's still hard to let you go

But I know I'm not the only one
To fall for all the lies
That we were living in a house of cards
So, I can't be surprised when I'm

Waking up in a sea of sadness
And I know we'll make it a force of habit
Maybe, in a year or so, I'll be able just to laugh at it
But, for now, I spend my nights
Wishing we could just go back to it

Better half, that's what I thought you were
Path of glory, same old story
"Time's a thief", I've heard
You can hold the smoking gun
But I'll still shoot the messenger (messenger)

Sea of sorrows
You wiped it off my cheek
See you tomorrow
That's time borrowed for another week
I can't stand beside you now if you don't really want me

Well, I know I'm not the only one
To fall for all the lies
That we were living in a house of cards
So, I can't be surprised when I'm

Waking up in a sea of sadness
And I know we'll make it a force of habit
Maybe, in a year or so, I'll be able just to laugh at it
But for now, I spend my nights
Wishing we could just go back to it

I remember we were once in love
Remember we were once in love

I hope that when you think of us
You'll remember it the way it was
I hope that when you're missing me
You're missing what we used to be
I hope that when you're falling down
You remember how I stuck around
And I hope that when you look me up
You remember we were once in love

(We were once in love)
You remember we were once in love
(We were once in love)
Remember we were once in love

Waking up in a sea of sadness
And I know we'll make it a force of habit
Maybe, in a year or so, I'll be able just to laugh at it
But for now, I spend my nights
Wishing we could just go back to it

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Part Of Me

They say the devil takes the best of us
I guess I always knew you weren't like the rest of us
You held the party in your hand like it would slip away, like moments passed
How I miss the way you used to laugh
Is that the way it goes, you trade your soul to be a rose
Give everything you've got to give before you've got to go
I guess that no one knows
I guess that I just didn't see the lows

Oh, we all fall down
Oh, we all fall down

I wish you told me how you felt that night
Now I'll never get to change your mind
But with all of the memories
You'll always be part of me
I'll tell your mother how we used to laugh
But it's never gonna bring you back
Now you're only a memory
But you'll always be part of me
Part of me

I remember times when we'd stay up 'til morning light
I remember how you'd say how much you miss those nights
And I wish that I'd have noticed all those cracks in your smile
'Cause it took a while
We could have put stars together, planted roots and lived forever
We could have been kings of our own kingdom, had you let me help you
But you're conditioned to believe it only makes you weaker
'Til it chokes you and you're barely breathing

Oh, we all fall down
Oh, we all fall down

I wish you told me how you felt that night
Now I'll never get to change your mind
But with all of the memories
You'll always be part of me
I'll tell your mother how we used to laugh
But it's never gonna bring you back
Now you're only a memory
But you'll always be part of me
Part of me, oh-oh

I wish you told me how you felt that night
Now I'll never get to change your mind
But with all of the memories
You'll always be part of me
I'll tell your mother how we used to laugh
But it's never gonna bring you back (bring you back)
Now you're only a memory (only a memory)
But you'll always be part of me
Part of me

---

Everyone Who Falls In Love (Has Someone Else They're Thinking Of)

She still thinks of him when she touches my skin, oh my
It's still hurting her when she knows I'm not him, oh my

Guess that's the way when you fall into love
Sometimes the wrong person does more than enough
There's a girl somewhere else, feels the way that she does
But what if it's me who made her feel like she's not enough?

Never enough, never enough, oh, oh
Everyone who falls in love
Has someone else they're thinking of

I love how you lie when we talk about firsts, oh
Like sex in your car 'cause you know it might hurt
That I'm not the first one, baby

Guess that's the way when you fall out of love
Sometimes the wrong person does more than enough
There's a girl somewhere else, feels the way that she does
But what if it's me who made her feel like she's not enough?

Never enough, never enough, oh, oh
Never enough, never enough, oh, oh

Forget what you had, this is a little better
Stop thinking of him, this is a little better
Forget how he touched you and I'll forget her
'Cause you scream when I touch you and not 'cause it hurts

Everyone who falls in love
Has someone else they're thinking of

---

Thank God You Stayed

What if I sleep talk and you hear everything?
'Cause lately I've been
Brushing with demons, even in my dreams
And what if you notice that I can't fall asleep?
Don't ask me what I think
'Cause the thoughts that keep me up are the worst of me

I go over all of those late nights, pushing you out
My eyes letting me down
Can't hide, you'll figure it out
I go over all those first dates, pulling away
Mistakes, all that I made
Thank god you stayed, thank god you-
Thank god you stayed, thank god you-
Thank god you stayed, thank god you stayed

I love from a darkness
But you were loving light (but you were loving light)
And I love the way you take all my wrongs
And make them alright
You deserve heaven and I've given hell
Since the day I found you
I thank god you're an angel and thank god you fell
Oh, I thank god you're an angel and I thank god you fell

I go over all of those late nights, pushing you out
My eyes letting me down
Can't hide, you'll figure it out
I go over all those first dates, pulling away
Mistakes, all that I made
Thank god you stayed, thank god you-
Thank god you stayed, thank god you-
Thank god you stayed, thank god you stayed

Thank god you- oh, you hold me down
I've never known someone I can call home
Someone I can call home
Oh, you lift me up
I've never known someone I can call home
Someone I can call home

Thank god you- thank god you stayed
Thank god you- thank god you stayed