Crisco - Schlong Song Lyrics

(Intro)
Say, girls
That thing right here is letting all you boys know
What the other boys talk about
Ooh, that package of yours gives me chills
Check it out

(Verse)
Ooh, those shorts make my heart go boom
I can see your pierce from across the room
Glad I wore some kind of loose
Like to hitch your engine to my caboose
If that thong was tighter, you'd pop a string
Strutting down the beach, you go, Miss Thing
Got a bulge up front making me go, schwing!
Like you're smuggling a burrito

(Prechorus)
He has a cattle prod (prod, prod)
A Lincoln Log (Log, Log)
Want to polish that knob (knob, knob)
Think I'll sing it again (woohoo!)
He has a cattle prod (prod, prod)
Want to polish that knob (knob, knob)
Sure is long
Let me see that schlong

(Chorus ×2)
Love it when the meat goes (Ooh, ahh)
Make your bologna go (Ooh, ahh)
Want to help you make it grow (Ooh, ahh)
That dong-da-dong-dong-dong

(Bridge)
Baby, those chaps make you look so butch
Want to grab that stick and pop your clutch
Put you over my knee like a naughty boy
Twist your key like a wind-up toy
Want to make your salmon swim up my stream
Mix your coffee with a little cream
Pick you first for my softball team
Cause you got your own Louisville Slugger

(Prechorus)
(Chorus ×2)

(Outro)
Let me see that schlong

[Thanks to shanestrife for correcting these lyrics]