Hello this is Winston Virginia from WBLLL
Reporting at you live from downtown Hookson, by the apple orchard
The scene has been amok with distress all afternoon
Seeing violent confrontation of people rising and clashing in the streets
Caramel sauce, spewing
(Spewing)
That's right Winston
After recent allegations of coring the brains of his own constituents
Kandi Korn, the encumbrent mayor of Hookson
Has been caught f-causing war with the Fruit Bats
He turned own home into a mechanical fortress
With legs and cand-caramel launchers
(Caramel launchers)
Oh my gosh, he-look over there
It looks like B-Bomepheous has taken out the last caramel launcher on Kandi Korn's home
That's it, his mech fortress is defenseless
Oh, and the citizens know it
They're rising, they're com-hot dozens and hundreds of 'em
(Dozens and hundreds of 'em)
Hey, uh, Paul Joe here
I'm not the cameraman I'm more of a Camel man
But if you look over there, Kandi Korn just got walloped
(Walloped)
By the Governor's step-wife, commander of the Fruit Bats
She walloped him right in the popper
After much consultation, it would appear as though the rumors are indeed true
As you can still see, the Governor's step-wife has, and continues to, strike Kandi Korn with her fists
Oh, and there he goes, catapulting off of the house mech
Off of one brutal blow, and into the orchard
(Spewing)
(Wallop)
(Spewing)
(Wallop)
Oh, everyone's covered in caramel now
Look over there, the Korn is stuck to the tree now
Everyone, get the bats, run toward the tree
Bats high, get that caramel, get it fused into the bark, as soon as you can
Run, run!
(Run!)
Pandemonium as citizens race toward the tree with glee to smash all of the anger they seethe with
Oh, but what's this? Next to the tree, inside the orchard, it appears to be a time portal
Who's that?
(Who's that?)
I won't lie with my own eye, that appears to be George Washington
The first president of the world, which includes Hookson
He has an axe and he's joining in, he's cutting down The Father
He's relieving Kandi Korn of his sin
He's turning to the camera now
He wants to tell us something