Courtland Young - Self Sabotage Lyrics

Mama said I chose him instead of letting him choose you
It's funny what a lack of a father figure can do
To a kid who gets high cause his self esteem
Is lower than his social battery

And he tries his hardest not to try at all
If he put half the effort in the things he loved
Into the boring subjects that they teach in school
He might graduate before he's 22

But he can't concentrate because his life at home
Is just a nightmare that he's been running from
It's like his brain is just a jumbled pain collage
I wrote this song about sabotage

Why do I self-sabotage
Can I hate myself and love someone
What's it gonna take to tell the truth
It's not that I don't try, I try to lose

Look at my life, you think I'm proud of it
Building everything so I don't tear it down again
Walls are taller than they've ever been
Even the angel on my shoulder is about to sin

It's like I'm watching time as it slips away
I can't recall the person I was yesterday
So please don't snap your fingers when I look away
I'm not distracted, I dissociate

Don't laugh, don't cry, just keep a straight face
Wipe your tears, be a man, nowhere's a safe space
Move on and leave the past behind
Try to forget, but the past reminds

Why do I self-sabotage
Can I hate myself and love someone
What's it gonna take to tell the truth
It's not that I don't try, I try to lose

It's not that I don't try
It's not that I don't try
It's not that I don't try to lose
It's not that I don't try, I try to lose

Why do I self-sabotage
Can I hate myself and love someone
What's it gonna take to tell the truth
It's not that I don't try, I try to lose