Divine Comedy - If I Were You Lyrics

You know, quite for no reason
I'm here for the season
And high as a kite -
Living in error
With Maud at Cap Ferret
(Which couldn't be right)...
Everyone's here, and frightfully gay;
Nobody cares what people say,
Though the Riviera
Seems really much queerer
Than Rome at its height!
On Wednesday night
I went to a marvellous party
With Noonoo, and Nada, and Nell -
It was in the fresh air,
And we went as we were,
And we stayed as we were,
(Which was hell)
Poor Grace started singing at midnight,
And she didn't stop singing 'til four -
We knew the excitement was bound to begin
When Laura got blind on Dubonnet and gin
And scratched her veneer with a Cartier pin!
I couldn't have liked it more!
I've been to a marvellous party
We played a wonderful game:
Maureen disappeared
And came back in a beard,
And we all had to guess at her name...
Cecil arrived wearing armour,
Some shells and a black feather boa -
Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb
Made of bits of mosaic from St. Peter's in Rome,
But the weight was so great that she had to go home!
And I couldn't have liked it more!
I've been to a marvellous party
I must say the fun was intense;
We all had to do
What the people we knew
Might be doing a hundred years hence...
We talked about growing old gracefully,
And Elsie - who's seventy-four -
Said,