Down Again - Paroxysms Lyrics

I can only see it when I close my eyes
Stems and pedals drifting between golden skies
Can you feel it coming, is there some sense of time
Do you wake up when you're already inside
I carved this body, with hands like knives
But now I'm falling and I've cut every tie
Try to pick myself up
I try to pick myself up
I fear the worst is yet to come
There's nowhere left for me to run
Try to pick myself up
I try to pick myself up
I fear the worst is yet to come
There's nowhere left for me to run
Can't catch a break, and my body aches
Run so deep, I feel them warping shape
I built this frame, to withstand the weight
But these cracks run deep, in my dried out clay
So I self destruct, with my f*cked up luck
I fell on my sword, and all for what
I hate myself, I hate everyone else
So I inflict all the pain that I've felt
How many times can I put myself back together
Scars hard as stone, but inside I am weathered
Where is my peace
What do I have to lose
Don't f*ck with me
Feel myself letting go
Spinning, spinning
The walls are closing in
Hitting, hitting
My fists into the ground
Closer, closer
Don't take another step
It's over, over
So now I'll hold my breathe
Cold words, sharp tongues
Warm water, full lungs
This was a mistake, this was a mistake
I shouldn't be here I need to get out of this place
There is no escape, there is no escape
Only illusions of being saved
I'd rather end up at the bottom of a lake
With shoes of stone to relieve the weight
I feel every second I'm awake
Can only take so much of this meaningless game
And the shame I feel for being this way
So I've made peace with a shallow grave
Gentle light, gentle waves
So toss your flowers and I'll watch them float over me