Elusive - Aletheia Lyrics

Sometimes I think of all the things that lead me to this moment
Did I do right in my life or was I just cutting corners
If my life was a song would you see it as a chorus
Filled with the happiest memories not the ones that tore us
Always thought I was grounded holding the eye of Horus
The death of sense just as tragedy fell upon Osiris
The crisis in me is not averted it's just inverted
So I look happier now than I ever was before
Even fooled Aletheia (Aletheia)
Sought out Elysium within all of these sirens
Cause when they talk it's a violin played by Orpheus ire strings
Until they screech and I block my ears
Worst bitch reimagined I sail my tears with Odysseus
Guard my heart with the Cerberus
(Guard my heart with Cerberus)
My mind's an Atlas I couldn't map and I have to balance
Or else I'll fall apart and notice cracks within my chalice
But I'll still sip to the celebrations that never happened
Cause everyone's leaving without a word like nothing happened
And when you see em they dodge your gaze like you never happened
We used to all speak in jubilee what the f*ck had happened

(What happened to us ?)
I used to make a thousand excuses to excuse mine's from the accusers
Acting like high and mighty Yakuza
Threatening my Medusa who played around with this loser
Who fought and yelled and abused her
I thought I was meant to save her and act like the perfect suitor
Wish I had come in sooner
I shot my shot to a shooter and got robbed by a looter
Who turned my heart into stone and sold it off to Plutus
Speaking of money
I'm sorry sis even though I miss you I'll press the issue
And I don't wanna be rude
Or start a family feud
I took your situation as something I couldn't refuse
Gave you the bread so that you could focus on money for food
And left you space so that you could finally breathe with some room
But you keep making a promise instead of asking for help
Until a month ago I ain't know you were fighting through Hell
Just ring my phone when you feel like doing it all by yourself
Cause keeping silent is violent to who you need to protect
In any case I just hope you know I still wish you the best
Through all the greatest of tests

A burning rage to scare Helios and the Cailleach's cold
All directed at every person who never wants to know
The type of shit that a six year old shouldn't have to undergo
The type of shit that had brought me close to end of this heavy metal
My mind was just never settled
What set me off set me back and it sent me back to a place with these serpents
Is this my sentence?
I hope that this life I live isn't worth all the pain it gives
I give everything I have in the hopes that I make it big
I scream out epithets hoping Oedipus test my grit
If I die then I wasn't shit
If I live I'll write manuscripts of the moments I couldn't miss
Aletheia

There's a slow disconnect between everything that I feel
Everything that was real and everything that is
An image of my desire and my desire to win
Over all of my demons that painted my heart with sin
(What happened to us?)
There's a slow disconnect between everything that I feel
Everything that was real and everything that is
An image of my desire and my desire to win
Over all of my demons that painted my heart with sin