Problems Video (MV)

To talk about love is a common occurrence
But it keep it a hundred I way much prefer it
It's so hard for me to hide behind curtains
And to bury and cover up all of my burdens
My life is so dark I got no light for the shadows
Why even fight when I lose all of my battles
I'm broken and damaged
It's getting harder to manage
I think back on life and my happiness vanished
It's sad when I get scared to share all my thoughts
They get deeper and deeper until I get lost lost
If I'm fighting my demons then this is the boss
But I'm here now so let's get this problem resolved
I get in my car and I drive on the road
I could invite some of my friends but i do it alone
Turn on some beats to get in my zone
I'm skipping and skipping every songs on my phone
That's when I look up and think of what's next
Get emotional and that's when become a mess
Think about stuff like if I got into a wreck
Maybe they would all prefer me to be dead
I know it's not true but its stuck in my head
That's when I ask for help through a text
Theres usually only one person that helps me
And I'm grateful that at least someone can help me
And for the others I dont blame you for not ever helping
I guess they just want to stay happy and healthy
I lost that privilege when I took it from someone i love
I moved on since but my state of mind is just stuck
Even though I've lived on and made a few songs
Explaining all my wrongs i cant undo all
The pain that I cause and the pain I deserve
I cant escape until my life sentence is served
So until then I'll live every shitty day on this earth
I cant find happiness so imma call off the search
Its important for you to know how much your worth
But I took that gold and turned it to dirt
The moment I made our love into something that hurts
It used to feel good but now it just burns
I used to be the best but now I'm the worst
I dont blame you for leaving as I put myself first

It's crazy to think that the world that we live in
Surrounded by people the men and the women
Everyone's special cause everyone's different
To think that I found you in the life that I'm living
The chances are low with the odds and percentage
I'm stupid as f*ck to waste the opportunity given
I dont deserve to have the thing i was gifted
Our time here is short so watch how you spend it
I'll never have something as special as that
Not because I'm not searching but I still live in the past
It's the valuable things that seem harder to last
I still remember the sound of all your laughs
The car rides the dates
Those days you cant replace
Though I hope that you do and I hope that he stays
I hope he becomes the new happiness you make
I hope leaving me meant a new life you create
We travel this road but my tires are flat
Something that keeps me stuck in the past
People drive by but they never care to ask
I sit on this road and watch everyone pass
I've caged myself like I am scared of the people
But that's not true I'm just scared of a sequel
I'm scared of running into something more evil
I get a glimpse when I take a look out the peak hole
Death looks at me and then he waves hi
But I guess I'm just not ready to say goodbye
Cause we've met a few times yeah more then twice
He'll tell me I'm ready but that's a lie
I go to my room and I write down our notes
Some would say that I'm talking to ghosts
The struggle I go through is one that nobody knows
I've never touched up on death but I've been super close
I'm suicidal but scared of being suicidal
So I lie about it but that's just stuff that I do
I draw on the walls in my head
To match the fairy tales I tell myself instead
Close the door and then lay in my bed
Wake up with a new world that I've written in red
I grab my paper and click up my pen
Then I write up a world where I play pretend