Explicit - Thoughts Lyrics

God i f*cking hate this shit
Numb to the pain with a blade on my wrist
Suicidal thoughts are whats making me pissed
I drown in my thoughts in the dark abyss
God isn't real so i ain't afraid to sin
Gotta play dirty just so i can win
Yeah i got the blades, stab you in the limb
Don't talk to me bitch, we weren't ever friends
You might wanna run when you see me in the dark
I see you're afraid when i start to bark
Hatred and rage is what overflows my cart
I'll take out your eyes, since they took my heart
My f*cking demons are ripping me apart
I've been the bad guy right from the start
Doing dumb shit since i am not smart
Life ain't fair, i don't wanna restart

Alone in this world, I've had enough
Don't call me strong, i am not tough
If you knew me, you'd know why i cut
I love the pain bitch, i love the blood
I know its stupid, i know its dumb
But welcome to the life of someone who's numb
Hell is my home, its where i am from
Hated by all, and loved by none
Surrounded by darkness late in the night
The old me is way outta sight
I cannot shine, i have no light
Know what I've done before you pick a fight
Hearing you scream will be a delight
Carved dead for a reason on me with a knife
When it comes to me, nothing is right
I am so ugly, in my head i recite

Im so alone, why ain't i dead
Suicidal thoughts run through my head
Hate waking up in the same old bed
They'll start to care when i run outta breath
All of my flaws keep my demons fed
Eventually filling my brain with led
I mean every single thing that I've said
Give me a bottle to OD on meds
I hate the snakes they all in the past
Show no emotion but I come off as sad
Hate being ugly, hate being fat
I'm sorry momma, I'm sorry dad
For having my heart broken and smashed
Anxiety and pain be kicking my ass
Now I am nothing, dress in all black
My only goodbye will be my last