Flight Of The Conchords - The Ballad Of Stana Lyrics

This'll be the strangest tale you'll ever hear
Unless you can't hear
In which case this'll be the strangest story you've ever regretted

I'll tell you the story of a dangerous man
Some say he was born with a gun in his hand
Six months old, he set his crib on fire
And tried to kill his papa with his pacifier

A fugitive by the age of five
They wanted that boy dead or alive
When he was seven, he was full of rage
He was shooting at men thrice his age

He was straight out of hell for heaven's sake
When a snake bit him, he poisoned the snake
He walked with a swagger, killed with a glance
And when it was hot he didn't even wear pants

He had a predilection for killing and hating
And his name was an anagram of Satan
Bad attitude, bad blood, bad grammer
A man by the name of Stana

He's the sort of guy that walks around without any pants on
Not for comfort reasons
No, not because it's hot
Just to cause others discomfort!
Each morning he pops some Viagra
Walks around with a stiffy
Writes slogans on his penis, offensive ones
Awful guy...
Made a little American flag, tied it at the end of his dick
He walked around saying "I do what I want, I'm an American!"
"Freedom of speech!"
"You want me to cover this up?"
"This is the Dick Amendment!"
"That's a real amendment! Trump told me about it..."

His name was an anagram of Satan. A satanagram. Stana
Another Satanagram is Santa
But Stana's nothing like Santa, oh no. God no
Santa is a wonderful man
He's a lovely man
Santa comes down your chimney once a year and gives you presents
Santa will just cum down your chimney

"Mama. Mama. Mama! Why's it snowing in July??"
"Stay away, don't make a snowman baby
Don't make a snowman. Stay away from that, baby, stay away"
"Once a year he comes around to your house a molests your pets"
"Oh and that's not the worst thing
He makes a big deal of it. He sends you cards: "Merry Molestmas"
Dogs getting nervous. Gerbils jittering. He's a bad man