Factual - Waiting Lyrics

Dear everyone I've told I love
I've tried and tried again, but you only seem to want someone who treats you horribly
I tell you the truth and you ignore me
I guess ill just be waiting
I feel like it was a dream
I believed what we had was real
Because it seemed so vivid
It felt so physical
I remember the first time that I heard you laugh
I smiled every time that I looked over and caught a glance
Everyday felt like a victory
Everyday I told myself its meant to be
Victory or misery
It won't change my solidity
It just affects me mentally
Instinctively it seems to be
That I am clinically depressed
My anger and sadness is suppressed
Insomnia takes over so I cant rest
My life right now is such a mess
Nothings going right so I turn left
Feel alone so I just rap to express
Im barely happy, I got no friends
I was just a shy kid now look whats left
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting
Dear Everyone I care about
Im sorry im not this person you want me to be
And im sorry im not amazing in every way
But don't ask me to change because im me
I get mixed feelings every day
I wake up and don't feel the same
I seem fine but inside im going insane
Tell you I love you now I feel deranged
My emotions aren't a f*ckin game
Don't try to make me change
I've been waiting but you never came
Beg me to come back but im done
You only get my trust once
Im a person who loves life and is full of lust
Don't treat me like a spec of dust
Im not what everybody wants to be but
I do this because its what I love
You can disagree you can distrust
But I refuse to slow down because of your opinion
If this is surviving then im not livin
I told you how I feel and I've been down ever since then
I was so close to happiness but now my sadness is driven
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting
I don't even know how I can conclude this
Think of you and nothing else matters
But then I remember when I told you and you never responded
I don't know what im supposed to do
Everything I say
Everything I do
Hear it again it all leads to you
I've been waitin this entire time all for you
No clue what I should do
So I just write music in my room
Im so god damn confused
I guess I'll forever have no use
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting
I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting