The Figurants - The Mayonnaise Lyrics

No, I mean the kind... the Mayonnaise
Open it up to your fan base
An ocean, so far away
Will lead you home, via the bay
Everything I need, I make up before you even get here
You'll bring this back to me and you
Like lately you've been tending to
You talk like you were always on the news
As if these stupid onions wouldn't have grown out on their own
As if we need another excuse to get you on a phone
You know what your teeth do, they dominate
They numbly follow your tongue, right off the plate
And Carol as our tagalong is making zero sense
I thought he could have hypnotized me in the present tense