DIONYSOS:
I knew that I could do it
I knew it, I knew it.
I knew they'd all pooh-pooh it,
And indeed they did.
I knew if I stuck to it,
I'd somehow get through it.
At times I thought, "Oh, screw it!"
But proceed I did,
And oh, you kid -- !
I just met Shaw!
I got to meet Shaw!
There isn't any doubt
The man's without
A single flaw!
I talked to Shaw,
I said to him, "Shaw,
The world is in a crisis."
He said, "Listen, Dionysos,
What you need is Shaw.
I'll go with you," says Shaw.
"I happen to be free,
And who could be
A bigger draw?"
That instant generosity,
That's Shaw!
The verbal virtuosity,
That's Shaw!
The fearless animosity,
That mind with such velocity --
All right, there's the pomposity,
But that's just Shaw.
[Reluctantly]
And maybe some verbosity,
But still you'll be
In awe.
[Commotion inside PLUTO's palace, growing louder]
DIONYSOS:
And here comes Shaw!
[Music continues under as the palace doors open and the Great Man enters.
He holds up his hand. Music stops]
SHAW:
Dionysos, your arrival is most fortuitous.
My fellow playwrights I fear have lost the art of conversation,
but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.
[The SHAVIANS enter laughing; music resumes]
DIONYSOS:
He has no use for piety
Or notions of propriety.
He'll show us our society
In ways we never saw.
[Music stops again]
SHAW:
I'm sick to death of the Underworld. It is like sitting for
all eternity at the first act of a fashionable play before the complications begin.
[The SHAVIANS murmur admiringly; music resumes]
DIONYSOS:
The world will soon be dancing "The Shaw."
DIONYSIAN:
How do you dance the Shaw?
DIONYSOS:
[To the SHAVIANS]
Tell him.
SHAVIANS:
First you think.
Then you comment.
[Music stops momentarily as they all murmur something brief
and judicious to each other; then it resumes]
SHAVIANS:
Then you think.
Then you discuss.
[Music stops again as they babble to each other more animatedly;
two loud chords halt the discussion and music continues]
SHAVIANS:
Then you read,
Then you make a quip.
[Music stops]
SHAW:
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
[Music resumes]
SHAVIANS:
That's how you dance "The Shaw."
DIONYSOS:
[Front, spoken in rhythm, as music continues]
Isn't he amazing?
Isn't he adorable?
[to the SHAVIANS]
Couldn't you die?
Well, you already have.
Still --
SHAVIANS:
Words can dance,
Thoughts can dance,
Syllables can samba.
Sentences can waltz around in your mind.
Epigrams can leap and bound,
Simply from the way they sound --
[Music stops]
SHAW:
Patriotism is the conviction that this country is superior to all other countries
because you were born in it.
[Music resumes]
DIONYSOS:
Even when he's not profound,
He's so refined!
[Music stops]
SHAW:
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
[Music resumes]
SHAVIANS:
Shaw will show the way,
Shaw is for today.
Take him off the shelf.
DIONYSOS:
Everything he writes
Dazzles and delights --
He told me so himself.
[Music stops]
SHAW:
When a man knows nothing and thinks he knows everything,
that points clearly to a political career.
[Music resumes]
DIONYSOS:
[Spoken in rhythm]
Couldn't you just put him on
Toast points and eat him for lunch?
[Singing]
I'll show them Shaw!
SHAVIANS:
First you think...
DIONYSOS:
I want to share Shaw!
SHAVIANS:
Then you reason...
DIONYSOS:
I'm sure of Shaw!
SHAVIANS:
Then you think.
Then you digress...
SHAW:
The worst sin toward our fellow creatures
is not to hate them but to be indifferent to them;
that is the essence of inhumanity. Next!
SHAVIANS:
Such sanity, humanity,
Who cares about the vanity?
His work is just so literate,
It leaves you all atwitter, it's
Got gravity and levity,
That's why it's got longevity.
DIONYSOS:
A little short on brevity --
Is that against the law?
DIONYSOS, SHAVIANS:
We still need Shaw!
I'm [He's] bringing back Shaw!
The world will have an orgy
Of Georgie
Shaw!