When the smoke clears, what is left?
Goodbye, goodbye
You drop a kid in gasoline
And give him a lit match
And slap him on the ass
When he lights himself aflame
Like the man who pays his wife
Two hundred pounds to have sex
'Cause it's the only way he can cum
Like the girl, born a princess
Too early or too late
Who waits and waits and knows she'll never be queen
What's left?
What's left?
The senile cat's incessant meow
The children's favourite canned cow
The soundtrack of an unkempt house
The soundtrack of an abandoned spouse
What's left?
The whirring cogs of futile despair
The anguish of answered prayers
The writhing mass of moaning torment
What's left?
You lure a fly to a blazing lamp
Shut the lid tight
And watch it dance about
'Til it dies
Like Sirin's chimp
Who, when given a pen
Draws only the bars of its cage
Like the gown unworn
Like the lawn overgrown
Like the car, all rust
Like the lungs, black with tar
Like the bones, black with dust
Like the heart, black with shame
Like the eyes, black with age
Like the infant spinning in its formaldehyde grave
Like his mouth still open, crying out to be saved
What is left?
What is left?
What is left?
What is left?
I'm hiding from the government
And my fictional wife
From my dreams and my memories
I'm hiding from my life
I'm hiding from you, I'm hiding from you
I'm hiding from you
I'm hiding from my mistress
And her dream sex texts
I'm hiding from my family
I'm hiding from the explanation
Of all I've been doing wrong
I'm hiding from you, I'm hiding from you
I'm hiding from you
I'm hiding from your lips
I'm hiding from your mouth
I'm hiding from your room
I'm hiding from doubt
I'm hiding from living
I'm hiding from everything
When did I meet you?
Maybe three years ago
So much has happened since
You were a million fears ago
So many since have taken your place
A million more things to keep me awake
No, I don't sleep any more
I just rest my eyes
I'm running from your lips
I'm running from your cries
Your convulsions that crack
The crust of the earth
Your pantomime moans
So forced, so rehearsed
You're the first I call
But I hate the sound of your voice
I hate the words you use
The phrases you think so choice
But I'd kiss you a million times
If you'd only turn your head
You'll never turn your head
Just like me, you're not alive
You're dead, you're dead
In the German Black Forest, of which I know nothing
I dream you ride a black horse
Back and forth, back and forth
With no compass to follow
Or landmark to reach
You perambulate aimlessly through nondescript trees
In the nondescript forest
Of which I know nothing
And can't visualise
Save your faint silhouette
And I clutch and it evades
And I awake from the dream
No, none of it's real
I don't sleep, I don't sleep!
I wander through cavernous thoughts and regret
Through nothingness, through sagas
That never took place
Your kiss, never given
And your touch, never felt
Your words, never spoken
Your gift, never dealt
Your lies, all around
Your deceit, infinite
I'm hiding from your never-ending torrent of shit
Like the spouse happily married
Who still lies alone
Like the world famous actor
Still completely unknown
Like the German Black Forest
Of you, I know nothing
I know not your eyes, your skin, your stench, your sins
Your arms, your hold, your heart, your folds, your nails
Your grip, your grin, your tics, your sex, your shame
I know only your name
What's left of the lover
Who doesn't exist?
Who knows not how many fantasies
Involve her kiss?
What's left of the dreamer
Who dreams, and dreams, and dreams, and dreams, and dreams
But thinks he isn't dreaming
Thinks he is free?
And what of the endless, heedless, ennui?
Will it leave me be? No!
When the smoke clears, it remains your name
When the smoke clears, it remains, it remains
When the smoke clears, it reigns, it reigns
When the smoke clears, it's all I'll have left
Like the Magician who disappears from no one
He speaks until his lies become sound
Like the Magician disappears and never reappears
Like the Magician disappears from no one
He speaks until his voice becomes sand
He disappears after a while