Halsey - Manic Album Lyrics

---

Ashley

Standing now in the mirror that I built myself
And I can't remember why the decision wasn't mine
But it seems I'm only clinging to an idea now
Took my heart and sold it out
To a vision that I wrote myself
And I don't want to be somebody in America
Just fighting the hysteria
I only wanna die someday
Someday, someday

When I burst into flames
I'll leave you the dust, my love
Hope a bit of it will be enough
To help remember the days
When we came to this place
I told you I'd spill my guts
I left you to clean it up
I'm bursting out of the

Seems like now it's impossible to work this out
I'm so committed to an old ghost town
Is it really that strange if I always wanna change?
And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonely
I'd disintegrate into a thousand pieces
I think I'm making a mistake
But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?

So now if I figure this out
Apart from my beating heart
It's a muscle but it's still not strong enough
To carry the weight of the choices I've made
I told you I'd ride this out
It's getting harder every day somehow
I'm bursting out of myself

"Too many guys think I'm a concept
Or I complete them or I'm going to 'Make them alive'
But I'm just a f*cked up girl
Who's looking for my own peace of mind
Don't assign me yours"

---

You should be sad

I wanna start this out and say
I gotta get it off my chest
Got no anger, got no malice
Just a little bit of regret
Know nobody else will tell you
So there's some things I gotta say
Gonna jot it down and then get it out
And then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry
I feel so sad
I tried to help you
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin'
About who you are
I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down
And then ran so f*ckin' far
That you would never ever touch me again
Won't see your alligator tears
'Cause, no, I've had enough of them

Let me start this off by sayin'
I really meant well from the start
Take a broken man right in my hands
And then put back all his parts

But you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, girls and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)
I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin' (I had no warnin')
About who you are ('bout who you)
Just glad I made it out without breakin' down
Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)
I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin' (I had no)
About who you are ('bout who you)
'Bout who you are

Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey

'Cause you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

I feel so sad
You should be sad
You should be
You should be sad
You should be
You should be
You should be

---

Forever ... (is a long time)

I spent a long time
Watering a plant made out of plastic
And I curse the ground for growing green

I spent a long time
Substituting honest with sarcastic
And I curse my tongue for being mean

Weightless, breathless restitute
Motionless and absolute
He cut me open
Sucked the poison from an aging wound
Now fifty thousand walking deads
Would cower at this small brunette
It's a nice surprise knowing six feet high
Would reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more light
So I could look inside his eyes
And get the colors just right
Just right, just right
Just

But love built, God built provinces
Built calluses, break promises
'Cause I could never hold a perfect thing
And not demolish it
What am I thinking? What does this mean?
How could somebody ever love me?
Talk to your man, tell him he's got bad news coming

---

Dominic's Interlude

Your eyes are fragile and timeless
It's beautiful
There's power in the words you whisper

You treat your corner so mindless
But he don't see the setting sun
Your eyes are open when you kiss him

Your eyes are drawn to the worthless
Usual, the towers in your world are sinking
And if you're looking for signs then
You should know there's power in the words you're thinking

Talk to your man, tell him he got bad news coming
Walk on the edge with someone new
Talk to your man, tell him we made some good time loving
You can take a chance, come take my hand

---

I HATE EVERYBODY

I'm my own biggest enemy
Yeah, all my empathy's a disaster
Feeling something like a scaly thing
Wrapped too tightly 'round my own master

My friends are getting bored of me
Saying I fell in love with a stranger
I don't know what they all think of me
But in reality I don't even

Remember anything but thinking you're the one
And I can force a future like it's nothing, so I

Just hate everybody
Well then why can't I go home without somebody?
And really I could fall in love with anybody
Who don't want me, so I just keep saying
I hate everybody
But maybe I, maybe I don't

I know I've got a tendency
To exaggerate what I'm seeing
And I know that it's unfair on me
To make a memory
Out of a feeling

It's 'cause I notice every single thing
That's ever happening in the moment
And I don't know why it's consuming me
Because honestly all I know is

Infatuations, observation with a cause
But none of it is love so while I'm waiting for it

I'll hate everybody
Well then why can't I go home without somebody?
And really I could fall in love with anybody
Who don't want me, so I just keep saying
I hate everybody
But maybe I, maybe I don't

If I could make you love me
Maybe you could make me love me
And if I can't make you love me
Then I'll just hate everybody

Everybody
Well then why can't I go home without somebody?
And really I could fall in love with anybody
Who don't want me, so I just keep saying
I hate everybody
But maybe I, maybe I don't

---

3am

Darling, I just left the bar
And I've misplaced all my credit cards
My self preservation and all of my reservations
Are sitting and contemplatin' what to do with me, do with me

Think I took it way too far
And I'm stumbling drunk, getting in a car
My insecurities are hurting me
Someone, please come and flirt with me
I really need a mirror that'll come along and tell me that I'm fine

I do it every time
I keep on hanging on the line
Ignoring every warning sign
Come on and make me feel alright again

'Cause it's 3am
And I'm calling everybody that I know
And here we go again
While I'm running through the numbers in my phone
And yeah I'll take fake moans and dial tones
Let 'em spill right down the microphone
I need it digital
'Cause, baby, when it's physical
I end up alone, end up alone

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I need it digital
'Cause, baby, when it's physical
I end up alone, end up alone

Every night I wanna live in color through a white-blue screen
I got a technicolor vision going vivid in my white-blue jeans
I know it's complicated 'cause everyone that I've dated
Says they hate it 'cause they don't know what to do with me, do with me
Know that my identity's always gettin' the best of me
I'm the worst of my enemies and I don't really know what to do with me
Yeah, I don't really know what to do with me

I keep on hangin' on the line
Ignoring every warning sign
Come on and make me feel alright again

'Cause it's 3am
And I'm calling everybody that I know
And here we go again
While I'm running through the numbers in my phone
And yeah I'll take fake moans and dial tones
Let 'em spill right down the microphone
I need it digital
'Cause, baby, when it's physical
I end up alone, end up alone

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I need it digital
'Cause, baby, when it's physical
I end up alone, end up alone

I'm reckless, treated like a necklace
Take a different version and I try it on for size
With everybody that I know
And will you please pick up the f*cking phone?

'Cause it's 3am
And I'm calling everybody that I know
And here we go again
While I'm running through the numbers in my phone
And yeah I'll take fake moans and dial tones
Let 'em spill right down the microphone
I need it digital
'Cause baby when it's physical
I end up alone, end up alone

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I need it digital
'Cause baby when it's physical
I end up alone

(Your, your best song)
(Is a song a song that's currently on the radio)
(How many people can say that?)
(That their best song is the one that's currently about to be a massive hit?)
(It's already a hit)
(It's just gonna get more massive)
(How many people can say it?)
(Not very many)
(Congratulations!)

---

Finally // beautiful stranger

Your eyes, so crystal green
Sour apple baby, but you taste so sweet
You got hips like Jagger and two left feet
And I wonder if you'd like to meet

Your voice is velvet through a telephone
You can come to mine
But both my roommates are home
Think I know a bar
Where they would leave us alone
And I wonder if you'd take it slow

Oh, we're dancing in my living room
And up come my fists
And I say, "I'm only playing"
But the truth is this
That I've never seen a mouth
That I would kill to kiss
And I'm terrified, but I can't resist
And I say

Beautiful stranger
Here you are in my arms and I know
That beautiful strangers
Only come along to do me wrong
And I hope, beautiful stranger
Here you are in my arms
But I think it's finally
Finally, finally, finally, finally safe
For me to fall

Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

I grab your hand and then we run to the car
Singing in the street and playing air guitar
Stuck between my teeth just like a candy bar
And I wonder if it goes too far to say
I've never recognized a purer face
You stopped me in my tracks
And put me right in my place
Used to think that loving
Meant a painful chase
But you're right here now
And I think you'll stay

Oh, we're dancing in my living room
And up come my fists
And I say, "I'm only playing"
But the truth is this
I've never seen a mouth
That I would kill to kiss
And I'm terrified, but the truth is this
I say

Beautiful stranger
Here you are in my arms and I know
That beautiful strangers
Only come along to do me wrong and I hope
Beautiful stranger, here you are in my arms
And I think it's finally
Finally, finally, finally, finally safe
For me to fall

Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Yeah, I think it's finally
Finally, finally, finally

---

Alanis' Interlude

A shining badge, a suit to match
Bit my nails down so they wouldn't scratch
But who believes in needs like these?
I'll take two of 'em, please

Soft skin's soft as
All of these beautiful lives and beautiful thighs
They always kept me up at night
But I can't change my appetite, 'cause

Your pussy is a wonderland
And I could be a better man
It doesn't matter to me
Your pussy is a wonderland
And I could be a better man
It doesn't matter to me

'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
And I have never felt the difference
'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
A child in all these labels

And my girl, she
Always wore a skirt in the classroom
Eating my desert in the bathroom
Can't get caught so we stiller than a statue
Bad news, think I'll probably die before I have you

Soft skin's soft as
All of these beautiful lives and beautiful thighs
They always kept me up at night
But I live for loving impolite, 'cause

Your pussy is a wonderland
And I could be a better man
It doesn't matter to me
Your pussy is a wonderland
And I could be a better man
It doesn't matter to me

'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
And I have never felt the difference
'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
A child in all these labels

'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
And I have never felt the difference
'Cause he and she is her
And her and he are loved
A child in all these labels

---

killing boys

[Amanda Seyfried & Meghan Fox:]
You're killing people
No, I'm killing boys
Boys are just placeholders, they come and they go
You're my best friend, and I wanna help you, but I won't let you kill again, that's a lose-lose

[Halsey:]
Told me pick my battles and be picking 'em wise
But I wanna pick 'em all and I don't want to decide
No more, no more, anymore
So we'll sneak in the back
And then we'll kick in the door
Tell me have you ever keyed a Ferrari before?
Oh no, oh I don't anymore

And I'm not breaking, I won't take it
And I won't ever feel this way again
'Cause you don't need me anymore, ooh whoa
And I won't ever try again
And all I want in return is revenge
Cause I don't need you anymore, ooh whoa
So where do you go?

Pull up to the drive and I remember the codes
Yeah, the only f*cking numbers you don't hide in your phone
No more, no more, anymore
Climb up to the window and I'm breaking the glass
Then I stop 'cause I don't wanna Uma Thurman your ass
No more, no more, anymore

And I'm not breaking, I won't take it
And I won't ever feel this way again
'Cause you don't need me anymore, ooh whoa
And I won't ever try again
And all I want in return is revenge
'Cause I don't need you anymore, ooh whoa
So where do you go?

When I don't need you anymore
And I don't need you

---

SUGA's Interlude

[Korean:]

[Halsey:]
I've been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah

[SUGA:]
Ey, 내 머릿속엔 파란색만 가득한 이 방황
자기혐오들과 자만이 내 마음속에 살아
꿈이 가득한 난 자라 모든 꿈을 이뤘건만
꿈은 꿈으로만 간직하는 게
더 낫지라는 생각을
동시에 하며 살아가고 있지
내 도약은 추락이 아니기를
너의 신념 노력 믿음 욕심들은
추악이 아님임을 믿어 ey
해가 뜨기 전 새벽은 무엇보다 어둡지만
네가 바란 별들은 어둠 속에서만
뜬다는 걸 절대 잊지 마

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore (Hey)
Stuck between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)

[SUGA:]
가끔은 내가 걷고 있는 게 맞는지
하염없이 터널 끝을 향해 달리면
뭐가 또 있을런지
맞긴 한지 내가 바라던 미래와는
솔직히 다른 거지
상관없지 이제는 생존의 문제
어찌 됐든 상관없지 yeah, yeah
네가 바란 것들과는 다를지 몰라 (몰라)
네가 살아가는 것도 사랑하는 것도 변할지 몰라 (몰라)
That's true (That's true, that's true)
(Yeah) Yeah, so, are you gonna move?
꾸물거리기엔 우린 아직 젊고 어려 부딪혀보자고
So what you gonna do?

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time (Hey)
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore (Hey)
Stuck between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah


[Romanized:]

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah

[SUGA:]
Nae meorissogen paransaekman gadeukhan i banghwang
Jagihyeomodeulgwa jamani nae maeumsoge sara
Kkumi gadeukhan nan jara modeun kkumeul irwossgeonman
Kkumeun kkumeuroman ganjikhaneun ge
Deo nasjiraneun saenggageul
Dongsie hamyeo saragago issji
Nae doyageun churagi anigireul
Neoui sinnyeom noryeok mideum yoksimdeureun
Chuagi animimeul mideo
Haega tteugi jeon saebyeogeun mueosboda eodupjiman
Nega baran byeoldeureun eodum sogeseoman
Tteundaneun geol jeoldae ijji ma

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore
Step between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah

[SUGA:]
Gakkeumeun naega geotgo issneun ge majneunji
Hayeomeopsi teoneol kkeuteul hyanghae dallimyeon
Mwoga tto isseulleonji
Majgin hanji naega baradeon miraewaneun
Soljikhi dareun geoji
Sanggwaneopsji ijeneun saengjonui munje
Eojji dwaessdeun sanggwaneopsji
Yeah yeah nega baran geosdeulgwaneun
Dareulji molla
Nega saraganeun geosdo saranghaneun geosdo
Byeonhalji molla
That't true That't true That't true
Yeah so are you gonna move
Kkumulgeorigien urin ajik jeolmgo eoryeo
Budijhyeobojago
So what you gonna do?

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore
Step between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah


[English:]

[Halsey:]
I've been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah

[SUGA:]
This wandering, with only blueness inside my head
Self-loathing and pride live in my heart
I was full of dreams, then I grew and made all of it come true
Yet keeping dreams as dreams would be better
I thought, while living at the same time
May my leap not be a fall
Your convictions, efforts, faith, and greeds
It is not of ugliness, I believe it, ey
The dawn before sunrise is darker than anything
But never forget the stars you hope for only appear in the dark

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore (Hey)
Step between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)

[SUGA:]
Sometimes I don't know if I'm really walking
If I ceaselessly run towards the end of the tunnel
What else there would be?
Is it even right? It's honestly different to the future I had hoped for
It doesn't matter, now it's a matter of survival
However it goes, it doesn't matter, yeah yeah
It may be different to what you were hoping for
How you live on and how you love might change
That's true (That's true, that's true)
(Yeah) Yeah, so, are you gonna move?
We are too young to be hesitating, just run head-on onto it
So what you gonna do?

[Halsey:]
I been trying all my life
To separate the time (Hey)
In between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah (Hey)
I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore (Hey)
Step between the having it all
And giving it up, yeah

---

MORE

They told me once nothing grows
When a house ain't a home
Is it true, honestly
When it's all a part of me?
A couple years of waiting rooms
Finding God and lose him too
Wanna scream but what's the use?

Lying awake and I stare at the door
I just can't take it no more
They told me it's useless
There's no hope in store
But somehow I just want you more

I want you more
Somehow I just want you more
I want you more
Somehow I just want you more

Wooden floors and little feet
A flower bud in concrete
Feeling so incomplete
Wonder will we ever meet?
And would you know it right away
How hard I tried to see your face?
A little screen, a photograph
Mine to take

I sit and I stare at your clothes in the drawer
I cry and my knuckles get sore
'Cause I still believe it won't be like before
Now somehow I just want you more

I want you more
Somehow I just want you more
I want you more
Somehow I just want you more

And when you decide it's your time to arrive
I've loved you for all of my life
And nothing could stop me from giving a try
I've loved you for all of my life

Love you more
Somehow I'll still love you more
Love you more
Somehow I'll still love you more

(Love you more)
(Somehow I'll still love you more)
(Love you more)
(Somehow I'll still love you more)

---

Still Learning

I should be living the dream
But I'm living with a security team
And that ain't gonna change, no
I got a paranoia in me
And you wouldn't believe
Everything that I've seen, no
Coming apart at the seams

And no one around me knows
Who I am, what I'm on
Who I've hurt and where they've gone
I know that I've done some wrong
But I'm trying to make it right
Did the one I love do me wrong?
Give me up right now

I know that I love you but I'm still learning
To love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)
I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

I should be living the dream
But I go home and I got no self-esteem (nope)
You think I'm swimming in green, but
It's passed around my family tree
No man wants to really commit
Intimidated 'cause I get paid and shit
And I caught you reading my lips, but
No one around me knows

Who I am, what I'm on
Who I've hurt and where they've gone
I know that I've done some wrong
But I'm trying to make it right
The same mistakes on and on
To all my friends I'm sorry for
They know that I love you
But I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)
I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

Oh, I try and I try
To be a man but sometimes
If I breathe it's alright
Some things don't change
I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

Who I am, what I'm on
Who I've hurt and where they've gone
I know that I've done some wrong
But I'm trying to make it right
Did the one I love do me wrong?
Give me up right now

I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)
I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)
And I try and I try
To be a man but sometimes
If I breathe it's alright
Some things don't change
I'm still learning to love myself (to love myself, I'm tryin' to love myself)
I'm still learning to love myself

---

929

"I really was born at 9:29am on nine twenty nine
You think I'm lying but I'm being dead serious
Okay, I'll prove it"

Well who am I? I'm almost 25
Can't remember half the time that I've been alive
'Cause half was in a cheap apartment
And half was on the Eastside

They said don't, "Don't meet your heroes
They're all f*cking weirdos"
And God knows that they were right
Because nobody loves you, they just try to f*ck you
Then put you a feature on the B-side
And who do you call when it's late at night
When the headlines just don't paint the picture right
When you look at yourself on a screen and say
"Oh my God, there's no way that's me"

And I, I quit smoking, well recently I tried
And I bought another house and I never go outside
And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit
What she told me
She said, "Ashley you gotta promise us that you won't die
'Cause we need you" and honestly I think that she lied
And I remember the names of every single kid I've met
But I forget half the people who I've gotten in bed

And I've stared at the sky in Milwaukee
And hoped that my father would finally call me
And it's just these things that I'm thinking for hours
And I'm picking my hair out in clumps in the shower
I lost the love of my life to an ivory powder
But then I realize that I'm no higher power

That I wasn't in love then and I'm still not now
And I'm so happy I figured that out
I've got a long way to go until self-preservation
Think my moral compass is on a vacation
And I can't believe I still feed my f*cking temptation
And I'm still looking for my salvation

Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
Count out loud so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself
Watch the minutes go
Count out loud so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself

"I think I have a confession to make (so we know you don't)
I have to say I was really born at 9:26, it's on my birth certificate
I'm a liar, I'm a f*cking liar"
Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
Count out loud so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself