Hourglass - Oblivious to the Obvious Lyrics

[NO CHANCE]

He was never there for me.
He rarely looked my way.
When he'd come home tired from work,
he never had a thing to say.

And if he ever spoke to me,
it was always in anger.
When I tried to speak to him,
he'd treat me like a stranger.

What kind of father hits his son,
takes out his pain on everyone?
Thinks only of himself, like he's the only one
who exists in the world that needs someone.

What chance did I have of turning out right?
I never learned a thing at home
that could help me with my life.
Always being yelled at and deprived of any fun
that childhood should consist of...
never loved by anyone.

She always shot me down
with a bullet from her mouth.
She made me feel so guilty
if I wanted to leave the house.

She'd disregard everyone
in a power-hungry spree,
clean the house like a psycho
driven by her OCD.

What kind of mother neglects her son,
puts down her child, says he's no one?
Thinks only of herself and if her house is clean,
wants nothing more than status and prestige.

What chance did I have of turning out right?
I never learned a thing at home
that could help me with my life.
Always being yelled at and deprived of any fun
that childhood should consist of...
never loved by anyone.

No chance of having self-esteem
No chance when rage is a constant theme
No chance of showing love for their son
No chance when they think about themselves or else no one
No chance when innocence is reviled
No chance when blame is placed upon a child
No chance if good examples can't be found
No chance if parents do not want to be around...

[REALIZATION]

The news dropped like a bomb
and I felt numb inside.
How could I get cancer?
I pleaded for God to give me an answer...

The diagnosis compelled me
to look back at my life.
What I saw brought sorrow,
a troubled past and a bleak tomorrow.

My life is such a tragedy:
the common theme is misery.
Now my end is drawing near.
They say I'll die within the year...

I look inside and see my parents' ghosts.
I've become the thing I hated most.
The pain is tearing me in two
The guilt is burning me right through.

Why did it take something like this
to make me realize I'm just like them?
I treat my kids unfairly, I know them just barely.
I've never shown caring, I'm sure that they hate me.

I look inside and see my parents' ghosts.
I've become the thing I hated most.
The pain is tearing me in two
The guilt is burning me right through.

Is it too late to make amends?
Is it too late to forgive my sins?
Will my kids even care when I'm dead?
Am I ever a thought in their heads?

[REMEMBER ME]

I know that I'm committed to change
Change is something that will take time.
Time is stealing away from me.
My chance to become what I should be
My chance to become...

I don't have time to gain their trust.
I want to prove they have my love.
I hope my death will make them weep,
but I fear their wounds have run too deep.

Time is against me,
they're better off without me.
But before I meet my death,
I will use my every breath
to tell them I was wrong,
and to change who I've become,
so that when I'm gone
someone will remember me...

I asked each one for their forgiveness
I acknowledged that I had failed them all.
I have to mend the damage caused,
but change takes longer than I thought.
But change takes so long...

I don't have strength to give enough.
I want to show I'm serious.
I hope my life is far from gone,
but I fear my chance has been withdrawn.

Time is against me,
they're better off without me.
But before I meet my death,
I will use my every breath
to tell them I was wrong,
and to change who I've become,
so that when I'm gone
someone will remember me...

I'm free. I have redemption.
It is in remission.
And I'll make good my second chance.
I'm free. I have recognition.
I'm in transition to the man I want to be.

[IN MY HANDS]

Too often life, it slips away
and failures can't be rectified.
Everyone makes some mistakes,
but I would have died unsatisfied.

I saw myself at my very core:
I don't want to be that anymore.
Now I see through different eyes:
I see the way that I have hurt their lives.

Chains broken and left in the past
Bonds of my parents are gone at last.
I've let go of who I've been,
escaped the prison they put me in.

As I hold my life in my hands.
I'll make good my second chance.
Finally when I meet my end,
I can be proud of who I am.

Can't let memories haunt me
Unjustified actions taunt me.
I have too much to repair
for all the years I was unfair.

My redemption has just begun.
And I know it will be hard,
but I know that who I am
is the person I should have been.

Bonds broken and left in the past
Chains of the cycle are gone at last.
Now I decide who I will be,
no cloud of darkness hanging over me.

As I hold my life in my hands,
I'll make good my second chance.
Finally when I meet my end,
I can be proud of who I am.

I will never again be the man I've been...

[REDEMPTION]

Instrumental