ifso - Soul Lyrics

You never really sleep, do you?
Evil seeps through you
Let your pencil hit the page
Your soul it always seeps through
You're nothing
And you f*cking know it
Don't you try to dodge the truth when you can't avoid it
How can you not afford to
Get your parents out their jobs
When you spending out on clothes
Without giving a second thought?
You think you're man now?
Think you're the man how?
When you sister was getting beat
Where the f*ck was you with your hand out?
You try so hard to keep the peace
But yet you scared to raise a fist
When you need to fight for your beliefs
I pity you
Falling asleep up in the living room
Writing for a dream that you're never gonna be getting to
I know your secrets
And everything you bury deep
But if I told the world
I guarantee no one would care to see
You feel so choked that you can barely breathe
How much does it hurt knowing no one's there to reach?
And yet time after time
Every second after second
The moment you step back home
You feel like failure in the flesh man
You're all alone
Nobody really need you
You're going out in public just to make sure you ain't see through
It hurts
I'm the only one who know it
So put that pistol to your brain and don't you ever let out your emotion
I'll show ya
It'll all feel better in a moment
Grip your finger on that trigger
Feel the squeeze and blow it
Mama said to go see grandpa
Two days before he died
I didn't cause my hatred was engulfing me alive
I'm no hero
Not anything close
I hate how numb I am
I wish I had more feeling
My emotions won't flow and I really don't know the reason
It's hard
It's hard trying your hardest just to watch it fall flat
Efforts always failing so you feel you've lost track
No one ever praise you
No such guidance on your path
They just like to judge you
As you fall you watch em laugh
Even the people around you close they can change
The fights with my sister, I know it won't be the same
I tried so hard to be there but you'd throw me away
The tears I shed you still don't even know to this day
And yet
Everybody treat me like it's my fault
Nobody look at me like my feelings worth the time though
Pick them up as I fall
Even if my eyeballs
Bleeding out tears till I f*cking feel all of my sight go
My grandma getting weaker
I promised her she'd see me on the screen but
She knows I ain't made no progress
Hoping that I see her
Proud before it's too late
But time won't stop
My gramps he had to die seeing that I was no one
And I don't even know if there's a Heaven or Hell really
So why do I spend my time away from who care for me?
I hate myself
I ain't do nothing right ever
My mama said she proud but she lie to make sure I'm better
Diving further and further
Bout to crash on the surface
Looking at the world around me
As my past flashes it burns me
There's nothing left for me
When you cannot fight what's destiny
Hopelessness it f*ck up my world
It won't let me ever breathe
They say it gets better with time
But Lord I'm still waiting
How long can I be patient?
I know I've fallen farther behind
But my soul is worth saving
Won't let the devil take me