[ Featuring Portishead, Joe Budden ]
Look, they say tomorrow's not promised, but if it was I wouldn't get open
Wouldn't get suits, them shits was made to be broken
Remember coming up, dudes talking bout hoes boasting
I was just a Juvenile, moving in slow motion
I dropped out of school to be a dude with mad jewelery
Once I got it, shit wasn't even cool to me
I dreamt of condos and video vixens
Until I learned most the girls in videos is pigeons
I just wanted the world to see I was for real with it
Wanted a deal, got it but couldn't deal with it
I want me and my whole homeboys to still kick it
I wish they saw me as mouse and not a meal ticket
Let the beat play, I wish I could see a day
With no he-say, she-say, I just wanna see Trey
Wanna play the Hood and not **** with the toasters
A middle child, wish me and my brothers were closer
I wanna scream at her, catch myself before I start to
And remember it takes two people to argue
All she do is provoke me, all I do is diss her
All I did was shake her, she said that I hit her
She just taking every thing I say outta context
I'm tryin' not to black, I'm like a nigga with a complex
Was mad as a ****, didn't even show it
Yesterday was better off, didn't even know it
Complete role reversal, so it's useless these days
TV got real, music went fake...
Please help her for God's sake
When I proposed to the Game, I figured life was merry
Five years later I'm feeling like [???]
Maybe I'm exhausted, maybe I just lost it
Maybe I should pick up a pen, try and force it
Same old story, guts and no glory
They try and low ball me, do em like Joe Torre
I reintroduce myself to the world, nigga I'm Jerz
I'm a artist, I paint pictures, I don't rhyme words
More then a rapper, I pay attention to detail
'Bout how I do in retail, tells me if I prevail
Been long since I seen this trials and tribulations
Foul situations with some male stipulations
I feel like being an addict is a curse
There's something bout dude that makes bad shit worse
There's three types of niggas in this world, ya know?
So you either gon' make shit happen, watch shit happen
Or not know what happened
And so I couldn't just sit there like **** rappin'
There's dudes with problems I couldn't imagine having
If I had to have them I couldn't fathom me lasting
Like, I used to bump into Tammy in the club
A few of them, she even help a nigga get in
See a person long enough, you know you bound to get fly with 'em
Care for 'em, be more than 'hi' and 'bye' with 'em
It's been a while, I can't front like I ain't phased
She was my reality check cuz we the same age
I mean, she put on a show that you can't stage!
She made the shit sound effortless
I was damn near in tears checking my messages
I got goosebumps all over my skin
She said 'Mouse, I highly doubt that I'll ever see you again
Hope everything is well kid
See, I'm just findin' out I had a brain tumor, but I never felt it
The doctor's giving me three weeks to live
Not three weeks till I die, that's three weeks to give
I just wanna tell you that I love you and I care
I wish you all the best throughout the rest of your career?"
And then she broke into tears
I pressed seven, took the phone from my ears
Sometimes the simplest of things, people need it
But I ain't call back in fear of being speechless
What was I to put her at ease with?
I picked a real bad time to be strategic
I think my life's bad picking up the pieces
Some folk already got their appointment to see Jesus
In this world full of diseases
I've learned not to bite my tongue or have seizures
Depression tells me I suck
So I reply "I ain't here 'cuz I fell down, I'm here 'cuz I got up?
And then I'm going back and forth with Ransom
Shit came out of nowhere, was real random
According to him, I'm responsible for Jerz too
I never helped niggas? How the **** you think they heard you?
Mutha****er's got a lot of nerve dude
I was the nigga believed in you spittin'
Had to con the industry just so they would listen
But go 'head, you just gon' wreck yourself
How was you protectin' me? You can't protect yourself?
Let's keep the lies to a minimal, just read your interview
I cant help but ask "What?s gotten into dude?"
Media training, but he don?t know how that go
It help you come across not sounding like an asshole!
Then my past opened in Jail, I ain't enjoy it
So why would I stand behind a mic and exploit it?
I ain't ign'ant, just 'cuz I exercise spiritually
They try to ignore how I exercise lyrically
I thought I had a great job
Back when niggas loved the coach and wasn't in it for the money like A-Rod
Even when I'm spittin' 'bout current events
It's a sublime sayin' who's more current than him??
So I'm wonderin' if a higher power's tryin' to undermine
When you shoot for the stars, sometimes you're gonna jam
I ain't been to SummerJam
I learned from Lupe, when you 'dumb it down' it's just harder to understand
2008, hoes is still near me
So you can think I'm tired as a ****, I'm still weary
The Getto Boys say it's 'All in the Mind'
Certain wounds only heal over time
No shame in my game, no pain no gain
And since I ain't seen a prophet (profit) I figured God would stop it
Waitin' on the alley, niggas just wont lob it
I'm still a risk taker, let me put it in words
Can't still second base and keep your foot on first
Been about ten years since I been high off the 'angel'
Now I'm walkin' side by side with an angel
In front of my eyes, that prize keeps getting dangled
But cant grab at it so my pride is being strangled
Workin' shawty's nerves like a personal trainer
But it's me, its personal, it ain't her
Friends keep telling me "leave her", I won't
'Cuz she see's something in me that I don't
And I see something in her that y'all wont
If you never been in love don't tell me I'm wrong
See I preach gratitude, she keeps her attitude
Argue long enough then the shit becomes laughable
My norm now since for her it's so natural
Wish I could tell her that "All the niggas after you!"
So not compatible that we're compatible
It's nothing else in this world that we would rather do
Anybody out there relate to my pain
Turn my music up and let me know that I'm sane
We broke up, *****es was starin' at my chain
Dude was ****in you but starin' at my name
But we ain't gotta entertain all that
Back like we never left, we overcame all that
**** who made better tacos or who ass fatter
Let's live for now, right now none of that matters
We keep bringin' it up it, it'?s gon' backlash us
[Fades out slowly]
Why am I meetin' so many backstabbers?
Why when I'm about to crash I go faster?
Past is a disaster
When your house is see-through, learn to close your eyes in case the glass shatters
Just sayin', its always a million more pages
When my stupid ass keep thinking I'm on the last chapter
No tip-for-tat, I ain't equipped for that
Back in New York, chit chat with a Mitchell's bag
