J. Cole - '03 Adolescence Lyrics

I grew up, a f*ckin' screw up
Tie my shoe up, wish they was newer
Damn, need somethin' newer
In love with the baddest girl in the city, I wish I knew her
I wish I won't so shy, I wish I was a bit more fly
I wish that I, could tell her how I really feel inside
That I'm the perfect nigga for her, but then maybe that's a lie
She like a certain type of nigga, and it's clear I'm not that guy
Ball player, star player, I'm just watchin' from the side
On the bench, cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly
I ain't grow up with my father, I ain't thinkin' bout that now
Fast forward four years or so from now I'll probably cry
When I realize what I missed, but as of now my eyes are dry
Cause I'm tryna stay alive,
In the city where too many niggas die
Dreamin' quiet tryna dodge a suit and tie
Who am I? Aye who am I? (Yeah)

Things change, rearrange and so do I
It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie
I get high cause the lows can be so cold
I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
One time for my mind and two for yours
I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul
If you see my tears fall just let me be
Move along, nothing to see

I always did shit the hard way, my niggas *** slangin' in the hallway
Burnt CD's and trees like this was broadway, Times Square
Kept the dimes there in the locker
Some Reggie Miller
With more brown hairs than Chubacca
Whispers that he got it for the low low
Sell a, dime for a dub, them white boys ain't know no better
Besides, what's twenty dollars to a nigga like that?
He tell his pops he need some lunch and he gon' get it right back
I peep game
Got home snatched my mama keychain, took her whip
The appeal, too ill to refrain
I hit the boulevard pull up to my nigga front door
His mama at home, she still let em' hit the blunt though
I told her hello and sat with my nigga and laughed
And talked about how we gon' smash all the bitches in class
I complimented how I see him out here getting his cash, and just asked
"What a nigga gotta do to get that? Put me on"
He just laughed when he seen I was sure
17 years breathing his demeanor said more
He told me, "Nigga you know how you sound right now?
You won't my mans, I would think that you a clown right now
Listen, you everything I wanna be that's why I f*cks with you
So how you looking up to me, when I look up to you
You bout to go get a degree, I'ma be stuck with two choices
Either graduate to weight or selling number two
For what? A hundred bucks or two a week?
Do you think that you would know what to do if you was me?
I got, four brothers, one mother that don't love us
If they ain't never want us why the f*ck they never wore rubbers?"
I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear
And thought about how far we done came
From trailer park to a front yard with trees in the sky
Thank you mama dry your eyes, there ain't no reason to cry
You made a genius and I, ain't gon' take it for granted
I ain't gon' settle for lesser, I ain't gon' take what they handed
Nah I'm gon' take what they owe me and show you that I can fly
And show ol' girl what she missing
The illest nigga alive
Aye who am I?

Things change, rearrange and so do I (Aye who am I?)
It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie (Aye who am I?)
I get high cause the lows can be so cold
I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
One time for my mind and two for yours
I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul
If you see my tears fall just let me be
Move along, nothing to see

I never felt better