Jacuh - Swear to You Lyrics

Lately I ain't believing in life
But who would in my state of mind
I ain't making sense
But who would when I pay the price
Think about the future but live in the past tense
Music 'til my last breath
Thought I told you I should say it twice
Heart's broken but you don't know it
Proves how sensitive I am
But my ex she left it open, for you
So much pain that I ain't showin'
Who the f*ck am I to say that I'm the one with emotions
And you, hurt me more than you think
These words are my bottle so am I allowed to drink?
My last girl gone quick, you'll miss her if you blink
I want you forever write that shit in permanent ink
Blatantly, I been depressed as f*ck
In fact I put myself in this mood to make real music
That's dedication never waiting my heart you see through it
And if I die right now I swear to God I'll be a nuisance
You, picked me up when I fell down
Voices saying "keep it up and you're hellbound"
So much pain in my life I don't know what to tell now
One of you f*ckers should kill me if I sellout, I
Can barely sleep but I sleep too much
Thinking about you makes me dream too much
Disconnected, always needing a screen to touch
Without our damn phones I swear to God we'd have a need for luck
At this point, I put you in front of music
Swear to God that wouldn't be, if only I could choose it
I can, but I don't wanna admit it
Opposite of trying to fit in
The lies are a given
That's what, the last one taught me
Then she tried talking get the f*ck off me
Responded so normal, I guess you caught me
Make so little wanna work OT, oh please, oh me
And now you're mine
So happy you're happy, and so am I
But I just want you to know that music comes first regardless of the place and time
I know you won't hear this so why even create that line
Remember back to that day
Walked around town, wanna travel, a passion for the plane
We were lovebirds, don't care what our parents say
We would sit up on that hill nearly an hour late
You looked into my heart, said "hand me that and I'll fix it"
Don't wanna get hurt again, but to be with you then I'll risk it
Gave me a shot to your heart, I swear to God I won't miss it
Girl, you're a piece of art, so contrast and so different
But is that a mask or your real face?
So much shit in my mind I don't feel safe
Is this life just a dream or the real place?
Is this life just a dream or the real place?
Yeah I swear to God I'll give you my all
Just give me yours and I'll keep it
When I try to stand up I fall
Girl, I told you all of my secrets
No f*cking clue where your daddy went
He said he wasn't believing
And when I'm at the top I swear to God you're gonna meet him
Sit him down in a chair, I got a bone to pick with your ass
How you gonna leave a girl with no friends now no dad?
She came outta you, but then you sold her f*ckin soul back
Is it too much to ask that this girl just wants her own dad?
Now you got a new family, and you live somewhere across the country
Who knows where you went
But if only I could show you your family, would you even care for them?
And I'll be f*ckin damned if he, looks at them like they're pretend
And I'm not sorry for this anger, that's just how pops raised me
Well let's talk about you, you love me then you hate me
Drunk once again you never cease to amaze me
If you're just gonna leave, then why'd you f*ckin make me
F*cked up and f*cked up numb to everything
It's a crazy feeling, but I don't feel it, and it runs through your brain
When somebody brings it up, like what the f*ck does that mean?
I don't have feelings, always depressed can't be happy
It's more literal than you think
And I just wanna feel again
You're helping me cope with it but this feeling feels real pretend
My demons give me hope, and if they died then I would kneel for them
And you act different when you're around them so I'll fear your friends?
Whatever, keep doing it, more lyrics for me
You're acting like my ex, didn't hear it from me
Leaving you for another, you fear it from me
Whole song just want you to hear it from me
Took a tiny little mattress, put it in the back room
Snuck you in through the back door with no hassle
Purple marks on my chest and I keep your rack close
Just please don't leave girl I swear you're my last hope
I, got some problems with commitment
I always stay true and committed
But, I'm scared that you won't
You say you wouldn't every time that I'm hitting your phone
You see, your ex dude I guess he never cared for you
Only a body you see he wasn't fair to you
Whenever you need me, I swear I'll be there for you
And that's something that I, swear to you