JammPaul - Not Over This Lyrics

I was thinking about
The things I need to say
I was thinking I should say them out loud
Cuz in my head they keep driving me so crazy, I'm so crazy
I was thinking about you and how
How I hope you're doing ok
Even though you probably think I don't
Ever think about you in a positive way
And that's ok
I know I know I know I know I know
You were disappointed in me
And I know
You think the worst of me
And that's alright, that's not my problem
But today I'll let this out of my mouth
Cuz I've got to keep moving and growing
And I know I'm not over this
I know I'm not over this
But I'm over you

I hate the fact that I don't really know
What you've been through and when it even happened
I hate the fact that it's torn you up
So bad you can't even handle it
But you think you can, and you think you do
Yet every relationship you can't work through
Every single problem and 99 out of 100 are caused by you

Oh you think that numbers not fair?
Cuz you're the first to see that somethings not right
But right isn't right it's just what you like
And you don't care about anyone else's sight
Yeah I'm calling you out, and it's about time someone does
Cuz this is a fight that someone should've started a long time ago
No I don't hate you but I hate that you don't know

The depth and the true effect, of these events, you haven't let surface
You been trying so hard to keep up your guard, and destroy the one who gets closest
Well now there's nobody that close, cuz you scared them off and you constantly choked them
So bad it was more than couldn't breathe, so bad it was almost the end of the scene of life

Yeah, the same thing you tried, remember that night when you wanted to die
Had the pills in your hand and you blamed it on me
Cuz I didn't wanna be your slave I wanted to be free
You said I didn't care and neither did your family, but you created more than half of this tragedy
You think we're all insane, but unlike you we open up and deal with the pain

You got the whole world thinking that you're some kind of goddess
And I'm not too concerned with the all the lies you align with about me
Tell who you wanna tell that I put you through hell, I know the truth and I'll sell
If you wanna live like that, it just reinforces how glad I am
That I got out from your possession yeah the demon you still let in every single day
You fade away and you will Never change

Unless you finally wake up
Pray to the God you claim you love
The same God you think I don't know
But he's the God who let me free from you
You think I'm just a wreck and I've done so much wrong
Yet you're the one who made it into another song
You can't take away my words, even though it hurts, the truth is what we all deserve

You always hated the fact that I love playing music when you always lacked
The skills you supposedly wanted, that thing called practice that you couldn't track with
Your lack of progress is your own fault
You can't make me feel bad cuz I'm not your dog
I'm done with your commands and losing my friends and missing out on life, I'm staying till the end

The thoughts of suicide faded away the very first day I woke up and didn't have you
I called my friends the ones you couldn't stand and we celebrated that I can start new
Yeah I'm back on instagram, Cuz I'm a free man, you think I'm just looking at hoes
But actually they're my friends you know? Oh wait you don't know
Cuz you never gave them the chance to know

You said you wanted new friends, you don't even like your friends, but they're just like you
Yeah I said it, they're just like you but you think you prove you're different
And you think you're better and that's Just not true
Friendship takes work, honest work, hard work, and it's not always about you
But you'll find that out, by yourself, while I live my life and see my dreams come true without you

You scarred me and I've got to live with that
I hope someday you can get on track
But that's only gonna happen
If you sit back, and slow down, and look at this

You tear apart all the good thing in your life
You break em down just like you been broken down
Then you wonder why we all leave
Maybe you should try & find what you need

Time, space, conversation, mental help & evaluation
Let your pride down, open up, relationships are way too much
Take a break from trying to find a man you'll end up lying
To and with and you'll take everything he has and leave him dying

I pray they get the chance I did, the chance to be free and truly see
That this relationship messed up more than you and even me
I guess we can only live by, learn to live and live to learn
God take all this pain away and let the past burn

I pray to God you find a way
Cuz I know you can be better then who you've been
And I forgive you even though I'll never let you in again