Jason Cafer - Allergic to Everything but Oxy (Remix) Lyrics

The key to effective pain management is
Oxycodone
Five or ten milligrams
Every four to six hours
For fibromyalgia
But you probably shouldn't

If your patient is allergic
To everything but oxy
You might wanna be
A bit skeptical

I'm allergic to Tylenol
I'm allergic to aspirin
I'm allergic to naproxen
I'm allergic to lidocaine
I'm allergic to Bengay
I'm allergic to ice packs
I'm allergic to heating pads
I'm allergic to mindfulness
I'm allergic to a lot of things

If your patient is allergic
To everything but oxy
You might have a problem

I'm allergic to all NSAIDs available in the US
In alphabetical order
Acetylsalicylic acid
(Which is aspirin)
Celecoxib
(Which is Celebrex, selective for Cox two)
Diclofenac
(Trade name Voltaren)
Etodolac (Lodine)
Fenoprofen (which is Nalfon)
Ibuprofen (which is Motrin or Advil)
Ketorolac (Toradol)
Mefenamic Acid (Ponstel)
Meloxicam (Mobic)
Nabumetone (which is Relafen)
Naproxen (trade names Naprosyn or Aleve)
Oxaprozin (which is Daypro)
Piroxicam (that's Feldene)
Salsalate (Disalcid)
Sulindac (Clinoril)
And tolmetin (which is Tolectin)
I'm allergic to all that stuff

If your patient is allergic
To everything but oxy
You might have a problem

Now the spasmolytics
I'm allergic to muscle relaxants like
Baclofen (which is Lioresal)
Cyclobenzaprine (which is Flexeril)
No thanks
Methocarbamol (which is Robaxin)
Nope
But carisoprodol is ok (also known as Soma)