Johannes - Self Loving Hatred Lyrics

I was yelling
Let his death please be fake
With the truth laced on his grave
It got more real
Real everyday
I cry a lot
Concealing the faith
And anyone can be struggling with self love
Self hatred being the main cause
Cutting the strings
But is it cutting enough
Is it adding more drugs
Is it f*cking things up
Is it no
It's a mix of it all
Seeing you smashing the wall
Seeing you break till you fall
Seeing it all
Making decisions while you're feeling small
Self loving hatred yeah
I'll make me faded yeah
I feel degraded yeah
Don't want my failure back
Self loving hatred yeah
It'll make me faded yeah
I feel degraded yeah
Don't want my failure back
Ah Being bullied was his basic trait
It's another way to break my faith
It's another way that they can't stay
There's another way to fade the fakes
Cause real friends don't hurt you that way
Real friends don't relive mistakes
I've mistaken the way that it takes
For people to say
What they needed to say huh
Why is it hurting you now huh
Realizing you were not so profound wow
Isn't it crazy, that he's dead and you're not
And you're still shooting your shot
To be the guy you thought you'd be
And I told this in your face
There was no trace of emotion
Now you're crying oceans for a crowd
And just a standing devotion
Self loving hatred yeah
I'll make me faded yeah
I feel degraded yeah
Don't want my failure back
Self loving hatred yeah
It'll make me faded yeah
I feel degraded yeah
Don't want my failure back