John Bryan - Ishmael & Isaac (feat. Caleb Mccampbell) Lyrics

I'll be honest
There are times when I don't want to respond to Him
I hear His call
But don't want to respond to it
I can't do
I'm past due for the blessing and feel stupid
I know I'll pay one day for moving too quick
But it's been one day too long, I gotta do this

When I was stressed about my credit score
When I was unemployment 11 months
And mad at God for not providing the way I wanted
That's an Ishmael
When I was mega thirsty
Lurking on every dating site there was
Deceiving myself like ain't just wanna bust
Looking for job after job
Me telling God what's my call
And making moves without his nod
That's an Ishmael
Biggin' myself cause I ain't kiss and tell
Leading girls along
Treating them like a coin toss in a wishing well
Yea
While it is my will to influence you in the name of Jesus
I'm seeking your applause as the "man of God with reason"
My believing was predicated on God blessing my progression
And it manifested every time I tried to get you all to listen
So all my jockeying for positions
Led to my depression and resentments toward my God
Cause he resisted the call of John
He didn't bless my music career
Or make me a pastor at Hope
No, he broke me with depression
To restore my character and soul
He told me come home

But God your promise
It's always real and on my mind
When I don't want it
You've been by my side
Proving that I just don't got it
I can't do it
It's your job to provide like only you can
I can't speak things to life
But you're fluent
You put the call on my life
I can't lose it

Let's get into these Isaac's real quick

When I accepted who I Am in Him and what I'm to become
And my affections went from a proverbs 7 into a 31
That's an Isaac
When it was less about
My American dream with Jesus on it
And more about safe community
And true peace and promise
That's and Isaac)
When I focused less
On finding the right Job and pay
And more on loving me
Seeing my faults and listening to what God would say
That's and Isaac)
I have a strong love for vulnerability
Confession, creativity, compassion
And an acceptance of when I'm inconsistent
I don't just talk to God I actually meet with Him to listen
And my thankfulness is transcending to more than what he's given
See he's changing me
There's even less of blaming me
There's even less of shaming m
I see more of who He claims to be
I used to fear of having a daughter
And now I can't wait to meet her
I'm seeing more of how God sees me
So I can't wait to show her how He sees her
My wife loves me unconditionally
And sees me for who I am
I have genuine accountability
And supportive loving friends
A real relationship with mom and dad
Cause he gave the strength to make amends
I'm really thankful for His grace given in Jesus
For every ounce of love that covers me when I relapse
For momentary direction in every season
For the strength to respond instead of react
I have a vision
To plead the blood over every living soul that's seeking
Pleading on high how my God can forgive every act
And when I'm mad I can relax like (Trumpets)
Cause He's got control over every snap

But God your promise
It's always real and on my mind
When I don't want it
You've been by my side
Proving that I just don't got it
I can't do it
It's your job to provide like only you can
I can't speak things to life
But you're fluent
You put the call on my life
I can't lose it