John Doe - Move past the downfall Lyrics

Writing hasn't come easy for a while now
And I used to write lyrics in no time
Inspiration didn't flow from my meltdown
My mind was in lockdown
And pain wouldn't turn into a rhyme
Four years ago I lost my dad to cancer
From then I felt something growing deeper
Something wasn't working for me any longer
I wasn't working for me any longer
Grief had me put my life on trial
Examinate the things I had buried under a smile
I had to dig deep I had to break free
So I packed up my life and brought it to therapy
I went back to as far as I could
To as far as my memories would
I hugged trees thanked bees embraced my childhood
I looked for peace in every way that I could
When you face the mirror there's no running away
You hear the truth that whispers everyday
Underneath it all, when you dig it all, underneath it all
Gotta keep on digging to move past the downfall
Move past the downfall
I had never been alone
Never been on my own
I was a clone
I felt I had to let go of everything I've ever been
I didn't know how to do different back then
And believe me I lost a hell of a girlfriend
She's happy now she moved on
She got married they live on a farm
He makes vegan candles (wow) won't cause her any trouble (no)
He was ok with the weed so then it was settled
Yeah
I'm fully being jealous and bitter right now
You took a selfie mate and tagged her oh wow
You both love huskies and tattoos all those signs
Yeah I want peace but also to burn their new house down
When you face the mirror there's no running away
You hear the truth that whispers everyday
Underneath it all when you dig it all underneath it all
Gotta keep on digging to move past the downfall
Move past the downfall
I started on working on those lyrics 4 weeks ago
I still don't have a chorus and I'm hating my flow
I guess I've never being so open though
So I'm ok if being slow means letting it go
And letting go is hard it's saying goodbye
To all the memories the dreams, feel'em die
To the child I want with her but that we'll never have
It's feeling hope and despair both at the same time
And yes yes, I get tired of watching Oprah
And all those videos telling me how to heal trauma
I listened to every podcast of Jay Shetty
And fueled my Instagram with people who did a 180 (did a 180)
I'm tired and I think it's taking forever
To do better to be better to feel better
But things will come around
I know I won't let myself down
Underneath it all when you dig it all underneath it all
Gotta keep on digging to move past the downfall