Loudon Wainwright III - Fear With Flying Lyrics

Who's afraid of flying
I'm just afraid of crashing
That's why my face is whitening
And my teeth I'm gnashing
Jesus, can you save us
I'll become Jehovah's witness
The stewardess is smiling
But I know she's scared shitless

Who's afraid of dying
I'm just afraid of bleeding
Tears of fear I'm crying
And my mama I am needing
The pilot assures us
It's merely an airpocket
Satan can you save us
I've got a soul I'll hock it

Don't give me statistics
Statistics I'm not buying
I'd rather cross the street
Newton wasn't lying
Strewn along some runway
Or squashed against some mountain
There are so many other ways
I'd rather go and count them