Lil AK - Handle The Knife Lyrics

I learned to give a knife by the handle
No matter if the blade's cutting through my hand

I learned I'm not the first one to handle
No matter if a fire's burning in my chest

You taught me to be quiet
You taught me to be prude
You taught me to be spotless
And to never break a rule

To smile in front of people
To hide when I'm in trouble
To lie if there's a problem
To keep everyone on the surface even if I'm drowning

If beauty comes from suffering, when will I be pretty enough?

I learned to take as less space as I could
To be as small as my mistakes you pictured as huge

I learned to lower my expectations
Being afraid of what would've been if I didn't meet yours

You told me to speak out less
You told me to beware
You told me to second guess
And to never trust a friend

I tried so many times to be myself
But it always ended in me crying
Silently, so you wouldn't knew

From a young age I understood that
To protect myself I must tame
All my feelings when I'm with you

I became numb to quiet the chaos
But it never went away
I bear it in silence so that you'll never notice

I wish we could face our differences
Figure out what's best for us
Work it out and find our own peace

Our love is there, it's in the air
I'm just confused cause we're speaking in different languages
In our own ways

Even after years of listening to you
I'm proud of who I am today
I guess that was the price to pay

Yes I'm here, not without fear
But there are none so deaf as those who will not hear