Lou Kelly - Profane Profundity (Perfectly Absurd) Lyrics

I ain't a tree, I'm a stump
A camel without a hump
I ain't no rose. I'm a thorn
I'm a baby who was never born
Wide shut
I'm a pure mutt
I'm the world's fattest skeleton
I have yet to got where I've been

Yeah, I'm soft as grit
And I'm clean as shit
Determined to quit

You know, I heard some rumors since I've been deaf

Hey, muthuh-lovuh, what the heck you say to me
Has anybody told ya I'm a little crazy
I scream my throat out without saying a word
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd
Don't you do
What I say
I demand to never have it my way
I'm as pretty as the most perfect turd
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd

I always tell the tell the truth unless I'm under oath
Between a 'No' or a 'Yes', always choose both
I've never felt so alive since I've been dead
I got foil on my head

I am as quaint as a murderous saint
When I'm up South

Sweet, gentle parental discretion's void

And I'm happily annoyed

Yeah, I'm soft as grit
And I'm clean as shit
You know I'm overjoyed to throw a fit
Determined to quit

I've opened my eyes since I've been blind

Hey, muthuh-lovuh, what the heck you say to me
Has anybody told ya I'm a little crazy
I scream my throat out without saying a word
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd
Don't you do
What I say
I demand to never have it my way
I'm as pretty as the most perfect turd
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd

I'm obscenely coy
The world's oldest boy

Enough of the fluff. Let's get to the beef

Hey, motherFUCKer, what the FUCK you say to me
Didn't I FUCKin' tell you that I'm FUCKin' crazy
I scream my throat out without saying a word
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd
FUCK you, motherFUCKer. What the FUCK you say to me
Didn't I FUCKin' tell you that I'm FUCKin' crazy
That's one too many FUCKs to put in one FUCKin' song
Well, I say FUCK you
You're FUCKin' wrong