Where do you go when you walk from the alter
I don't want nothing to do with my father
He may be dead but I know what he offers
If I follow the way he walked
I've felt so hopeless for so many years
There's waves in my ocean I can't seem to clear
And I tell my momma that I have no fear
But I lie so she doesn't stop
I'm overdosing on anxiety
And I don't wanna show that side of me
Cuz I got people that look up to me
But sometimes I wanna stop
I almost had another child
And we lost it
I try to act like eyelids aren't a faucet
But deep inside I had a dream
Of a little baby girl that's loving me
And maybe this is time for me to wake up
Cuz the life that I've been living has been ugly
And how'm I supposed ever get a taste of
A better life if I don't choose to find another me
They tell me I'm way too hard on myself
And I believe what they say but they don't live in my mind
It's been a long while since I can remember a comfortable time
Because once it all comes together is when I go blind
I feel like
Running away
Will somebody answer my prayers and come and run with me
Or am I destined to be alone
Before the hunger games
Yeah maybe it's best if I'm shown
A single hideaway
It's been a lifetime
Just like the network
Put in my rhymes
Let me go and sacrifice
Till my time
I've let it all go
Relationships and high times
No one ever stays and shit so I'm mine
Maybe I'm emotional
That's why I don't get along with most men
People think to be a man is muscle overdosing
And when I'm friends with women
I ain't tryna be just boasting but
They just want a hit, I guess I'm potent
And to some I'm making no sense
Cuz why don't I just learn to take advantage
I could pick 'em off and get in like a savage
But that to me is madness
I already had a kid, I don't need practice
I guess misunderstood is my real status
But try to understand this
A whole life just fighting to feel loved
Cuz that was my deficiency
And misery loves company
And people say they're loving me
But then they tend to up and leave
Like why is every time I'm getting close
Somebody's ducking me
I feel like I've been giving life my all tho
So how they gonna put me on a shelf against the wall tho
I gave you everything I had I guess that's never been enough
So tell me how the f*ck I'm 'sposed to learn to not just give it up
And then I get reminders
I know they must be sent from God or something
Cuz I been felt like I'm nothing and this message has me trusting there's a better day
So I guess I gotta go and find a better way